Pretty sad day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2010
Pretty sad day.
11
Thu, 04-04-2013 - 11:29am

I am just venting and this board looks like the place:)  It is a pretty sad day today an my daughters ex-boyfriend, who has done some very inappropriate things to her while dating and since breaking up is moving to our small town to work today.  He has taken a job here, working in the same building as her.  She found out yesterday, called in a panic,  I had no words, do not know what can be done.  He has the right to work anywhere but why did he decide a job 3 states away from his home, in a town of 5000!!! He has WAY more experience, could have chosen any of several location, its a mystery. She has started to date another guy and is worried sick.  She went on one date before moving home, her ex found out where they were going.  Stalked them, then started calling her phone, when she would not answer he called the dates phone .  Then went to her apartment and demanded to see her.  After that she got a saftey alarm and kept it armed at all times, guess he was a little crazy.  So she did not date again until she moved home.  He told her he had access to her e-mail, and phone account records (that was how he got the dates cell phone number). He told her how he checks how long her calls are with any given number, then searches who that number belongs to.  He even admitted to calling numbers to find out if they were girls or guys that answer.  Our attempts to fix that do not appear to have worked, she keeps her number the same because of her work contacts.  She also has him blocked from her facebook and she is VERY carefull NOT to say anything personal on facebook.  But still if a picture of her just next to another guy gets posted, he calls and freaks out.  She has an e-mail alert on her phone when somebody logs into facebook other than her, just this week she asked if I had because somebody other than her had. Sadly it was not me, we are guessing him.

 She moved back home about 2 months ago, was happy to be somewhat free of him. By somewhat I mean, she was still in contact with him via text, from what she says, if she ignores his calls or texts he freaks out and it was easier to just answer. She had the impression they could be friends, and since he was 3 states away was not giving it much thought.  So now he is coming here.  I have checked, she could get a protective order, but she hates to cause drama.  She asked him NOT to come here to work, but he, as usual, turned it back to her saying what a awfull person she was as he needed this job and how he would not bother her or her family.  Yeah right, he NEVER tells the truth, so why would he now. 

Anyway, with a tear in my eye, I believe I should get back to work:)

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2010
Fri, 06-07-2013 - 11:43am

I just thought I would continue this story.  So DD's ex did come work in our town, he was not as big a problem as she thought.  She did keep pretty hidden and only told of one instance where he called, drunk and giving her a hard time.  BUT she decided to take a job 23 hours away, in another state back east, since he had indicated he was going to stay in this area.  She is there 2 weeks when she calls and say he is going to work for the same company:(.  So 4 week later she jumps ship, returns to this area. She tells of a possible job in this area, and unfortunatly did get the information from him.  She thinks he is just letting her know about opening, she believe he wants to stay in Ohio.  So she drives 3 hours to the interview, and while on the road there (I am with her) she gets a text from him saying.  I know you are interviewing with so and so and just want you to know when I was there, they had me drive the 3 hours and interview and they never offered me the job.  He goes on to say, I just don't want you feel bad if they you don't get the job.  Ok, kind of random and odd.  Anyway the interview goes well, they will place her on a project and plan to transfer her to a project 50miles from her hometown as soon as it come up.  Life is good, we go for lunch, and start to look at places for her to stay the week or two before the other project starts.  She was so happy saying "they must have liked my resumee, guess I can get jobs on my own, yeah!!"  Not 3 hours later she gets a text from her ex that says.  I just talked to your new boss, I will be your crew chief, goes on to tell her where she will be working, the money she will be making, she is crushed.  She instantly realize it was a set up by him from the get go.  Telling her while in Ohio about the job, making sure she does not think he will be there, everything.  I am pretty sure he was hired, it pays $200 more per day than Ohio, and he just needed to work the con to get her to apply.  He knew she wanted to be home for the summer and it would be easy to get her to apply.  It is an odd field, as a lease agent, he is sought after and the lease agent/crew chief often suggests the support people who they want to work with.  Not unusual that upon his recommendation they would interview and hire. I feel so bad for her, she really wants the extra $200 per day, and living in town does not have motel expense.  She had a opportunity to go to Florida, but found out he had been offered a position there as well.  Looks like he plans to follow her where ever she goes. 

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