prison visit gone bad
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| Fri, 12-24-2004 - 10:35pm |
Feeling unrested tonight....I've been looking online for a support group for wives whose husband are in prison. And it made me sad that my husband and I can't have a penpal relationship or something.
I know, he's in jail for dv. And even on the prison support board there was an overwhelming opinion that the wife should leave the abusive husband in jail. Then I found this other site where it said people who get out of jail are angry, bitter and messed up, can't function in society. That kinda brought me down because I'm still hoping prison will finally be his bottom and then he'll choose to change.
Okay, so that may never happen. I have been thinking about divorce, lately. If he is convicted of a felony then I will have my grounds. I'll have time to get safe because the jail will keep him from continuing to abuse me mentally during the divorce process. I have had these thoughts too.
I'm actually fighting off the guilt from my last jail visit which was Dec4th. (before the bond hearing). I might have mentioned it and posters validated that he was continuing the cycle even behind bars. So it this guilt part of the cycle too. After the bond hearing I've had NO CONTACT. But I feel bad that I walked out on the visit. Most days I feel at peace with everything and I don't worry about tomorrow. I'm not sure why tonight I feel restless or something.
Well, part of it may be because I got some pictures developed and it reminds me that he wanted me to mail him pictures. But now that I am suppose to have no contact....hmmm. Would sending pictures be contact. What if I just sent the pictures with no letter.
And guess what, now I'm a little afraid that he will get a pen pal and find someone else. Why do I do this to myself. I guess I have to admit I'm afraid of what the future holds. But in the end, I know Jesus will get me threw this.
thanks for listening to me.

Loony, if there is any kind of OP or RO in place, ANY contact (written, verbal, in person or third party) is considered contact and a violation.
CL-Blueliner4