Probably thinking about this way to early but ...........
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|Thu, 04-12-2012 - 7:54am|
Saturday marks the day that I gave my self the best birthday present ever and was the start to the end of abuse in my life. Normally around now I am a little on edge as things build up to May 6th but not feeling it and so far DS is OK.
April 14h is my pithead and seven years ago I decided that I was no longer going to sleep with my ex husband for my present to me. He was obsessed with sex and as long as he got some all was OK but wath out when he didn't. For years I gave in to keep the peace and felt like a whore. I cried myself to sleep after sex without him knowing. If he had know I would have had to listen to him claim to be sorry and that was almost as bad as the sex since I knew he didn't mean it. So I had to tell him that I enjoyed sex with him, makes my skin crawl to think about that.
I wasn't sure I could stick to it but I did for three weeks. It was three weeks of hell were he tried just about everything to get me to give in but I didn't. On the night of May 5th he went out drinking and came home and was determined to get his way. Over several hours I was called every name in the book, put down in every way possible, still to this day I have no idea how one of my thumbs o wrist didn't break over the pressure he used on them, I was hit a few times (I was chanting in my head for him to hit me had enough to leave a mark so I could leave him but he didn't), and in the end he was trying to rip my clothes off of me to rape me with our nine year old son watching.
My breaking point was telling