QOTW: Why did you/do you stay?
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QOTW: Why did you/do you stay?
| Mon, 04-24-2006 - 10:00pm |
A common question and sometimes I don't understand the answers either.
| Mon, 04-24-2006 - 10:00pm |
A common question and sometimes I don't understand the answers either.
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Next question,,,will I ever leave one day? I honestly can't answer that until that one day comes,,,,,or not.
Thank You for this board,,,,,,,,just found it. Leah
Just stumbled upon this board. Thought I might chime in on this one.
I've been at least 2 years out, and I remember the moment that made me leave. Thinking about why I stayed though: That's tough to answer. Each reason that I come up with could easily be ripped by those that have never been in such a relationship. But here they are anyway:
I belived I couldn't do better. I belived that I deserved it. I believed that we could make it if I prayed harder. As it was I left for my DD and not myself. Today I know better, but it took a long while.
Thanks Rebecca. We should ALL be proud. Those of us who left should be proud that we had the courage to leave...and those of us that stay should be proud that we have the strength to find support.
Sarah
Why did I stay? Or why did I keep going back with him?
I did not realize I was being abused, especially before we got married. I just thought that this is what was normal; he was my first real boyfriend. Now that I look back I am shocked at all the signs.. In grade school, he would kick my girl friends in the shins or “pick on them”. The teachers and even my parents said, “Well that means he likes them.” I couldn’t understand that and now I know why, because they were wrong. Never tell this to your children. When he would put me down because he didn’t like my hair, clothes, shoes . . . I accepted it because I couldn’t afford nice clothes, shoes or get my hair done. When he told me I was too fat, how could I argue with him, I am fat. He threatened my life one time after we broke up but I didn’t make the connection between the threat and him actually making an attempt by tampering with my utilities “hoping my house would blow up with me in it”. If it weren’t for my son, I would probably still be with him. What I couldn’t see him do to me, I saw him do it to our son. The manipulation, verbal abuse, and neglect (more emotional than physical). Sometimes, I still feel like I don’t deserve any better, but my son definitely does.
Leaving has been the hardest thing to do and I question and doubt it everyday because things are so much worse now. I am more scared now. Scared that he will snap and possibly kill me, but even more scared that I may one day believe he has changed and end up taking him back. So, while physically we are apart he is still in my head everyday. After everything that has happened, I am not angry with him. I feel sorry for him and part of me still even loves him.
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