Question about support group

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2008
Question about support group
2
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 10:34am

Hello again,

I posted about my hopefully stbx trying to restrain my finances below and have consulted two domestic abuse hotlines. I don't have a lot of friends or relatives to turn to. Unfortunately, in my situation, I am finding myself without very much support (my parents have finally seen the light about him, but I really hate to dump too much on them since they are both retired and getting on in years and it really upsets them to hear too much). We moved to a new community five years ago, and since then I have been feeling his abuse more than ever, become more isolated, and find myself in the position of having to seek support from strangers.

I'm not too sure how much support I will receive from the local domestic abuse organization, as it seems to be a parttime operation and it is not easy to get hold of the counselor. When I called the National Domestic Abuse number, they listened to me but then just referred me back to my local spousal support group.

I've started to realize that if I'm going to get support I may have to be a little more aggressive about it and what I have been thinking in the last few days is maybe starting my own support group. I have a counselor that I see once in a while (limited though because she is on the insurance and he has access to all the records---and this inhibits me from seeing her too much for fear that it will anger him or cause him to be more abusive.) She is encouraging me in trying to start my own group and I thought I might post a note here and see if anyone else has ever done this.

I'm thinking of tacking a note up on the bulletin board in several places but was wondering, how should I word it? Obviously, I would have to post that it is anonymous and nonprofessional, just some women who want to share their stories.

If anyone has any ideas that would make it more enticing for someone who maybe wouldn't want to come forward, I would appreciate that. Also should I emphasize that it is geared mostly toward women who are suffering from emotional and psychological abuse, rather than physical since that is my situation (although there is always the fear of that). I wouldn't want to leave anyone out that might need the support either.

Oh well, I may give it a shot. If you have any ideas or have ever done this, I would love to hear from you!

I'll keep you posted!

Thanks,
Von

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2005
Sat, 11-12-2005 - 9:04pm

Are you saying you don't have a shelter in your town (I don't get how a DV organization could have a "part time" shelter unless there were times it was empty, in which case they'd open it to someone who was in need)? And you called a DV hotline who didn't direct you to a shelter? It sounds like you're not able to move in with your parents on a short term basis, but I'd think you'd be able to ask them for help (in the way of temporary shelter) without giving them details, they already know your situation, right?

I don't know about starting a group, what type of group are you thinking? I mean, obviously DV, but beyond that, would you be a support group? Don't you need someone trained in DV to lead something like that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Sun, 11-13-2005 - 10:25am

Hi, vonique, I'm co-cl for the New Beginnings board along with cl-blueliner and the 3 cl's wander back and forth between each others boards all the time.

Mama Harmony