We are ***OK*** !!! He was removed after i was granted the full RO w/ sole custody of Ave & the home. Within FIFTY minutes of my leaving the courthouse, i received a call from teh DV advocate said that he had been served & removed from the house. Incredible how fast they did it. Kudos to them. Or maybe they were having a slow day.
DD & i were already en route to my freinds in CT (3 hrs away), he doesnt even know her, so no chance of his finding us. I have had some contact - breifly - w/ his brother - he (M) is of course floored & upset, but BIL said he doesnt seem as enraged as one might expect. Of course, i dont expect THAT to last. He also told M that he would "call R to see if he (bil) could go get some clothes & M's meds from the house", since they didnt allow him to take anything & i obviously am not around to get stuff to BIL for him, & apparently M said "No, they told me even a 3rd party contact was breaking the RO, so dont call her". He didnt know i had called BIL 1st & it was ok that he called me back about that. But i am not giving any info to BIL where i am, or anything of the sort. Just that he can go in to get the items that are essential, & i do trust BIL pretty implicitly. He has been a lot of help in the past, & offered any help now - to dd & I, if needed. He has seen his brother in action w/ me, & has stepped in when needed in the past. But again, my gaurd will NOT be let down w/ anyone close to M. I didnt ask any questions, I dont know where M is. I just reiterated to BIL that it was not my intention to keep dd away from him forever, but unless he can get his act together, i WILL continue the order w/ her included. & that if he attempts ANY contact, i will call the police immedietly. He, BIL, did try to play the trump card saying "I understand & actually agree w/ what you had to do, but its dd's bday this week. Is there any way, M wanted me to ask, that he & i can see her for a minute & give her a gift". I said "Even if i wanted to, which i dont, it is legally an impossibiliy. The RO is in effect & all our hands are tied, & its staying that way".
The RO hearing is Feb 24th. I cant beleive I DID IT! Its was *SO* hard ... but you know what was harder? These weeks leading UP to it ... the planning, the anxiety, the wondering how & when it will all happen ... & then WHAM. Last nite happened & it was like that switch for survival mode FINALLY flipped on & i made the decision to do it & i had not ONE ounce of remorse in the courthouse ... not one.
My closest family & freinds & work associates are all aware of what is giong on. I have SO much support coming out of the wood work it is incerdible. I am a lucky person.
I cannot TELL you how much all your support, prayers & emails & phone calls AND ADIVCE means to me. Im sorry i havent read all the posts to me the past day or so, but i will try at some point. Right now my eyes are about to close.
I think that Blueliner's advice about basically "where the loyalties lie" is good - blood is indeed thicker than water. I think it's a good idea to trust only who you know for sure is on your side and doesn't have loyalties or blood with anyone else. I also think, R, that you are doing a great job and that you are on the path, albeit a hard one, to a better life.
We are ***OK*** !!! He was removed after i was granted the full RO w/ sole custody of Ave & the home. Within FIFTY minutes of my leaving the courthouse, i received a call from teh DV advocate said that he had been served & removed from the house. Incredible how fast they did it. Kudos to them. Or maybe they were having a slow day.
DD & i were already en route to my freinds in CT (3 hrs away), he doesnt even know her, so no chance of his finding us. I have had some contact - breifly - w/ his brother - he (M) is of course floored & upset, but BIL said he doesnt seem as enraged as one might expect. Of course, i dont expect THAT to last. He also told M that he would "call R to see if he (bil) could go get some clothes & M's meds from the house", since they didnt allow him to take anything & i obviously am not around to get stuff to BIL for him, & apparently M said "No, they told me even a 3rd party contact was breaking the RO, so dont call her". He didnt know i had called BIL 1st & it was ok that he called me back about that. But i am not giving any info to BIL where i am, or anything of the sort. Just that he can go in to get the items that are essential, & i do trust BIL pretty implicitly. He has been a lot of help in the past, & offered any help now - to dd & I, if needed. He has seen his brother in action w/ me, & has stepped in when needed in the past. But again, my gaurd will NOT be let down w/ anyone close to M. I didnt ask any questions, I dont know where M is. I just reiterated to BIL that it was not my intention to keep dd away from him forever, but unless he can get his act together, i WILL continue the order w/ her included. & that if he attempts ANY contact, i will call the police immedietly. He, BIL, did try to play the trump card saying "I understand & actually agree w/ what you had to do, but its dd's bday this week. Is there any way, M wanted me to ask, that he & i can see her for a minute & give her a gift". I said "Even if i wanted to, which i dont, it is legally an impossibiliy. The RO is in effect & all our hands are tied, & its staying that way".
The RO hearing is Feb 24th. I cant beleive I DID IT! Its was *SO* hard ... but you know what was harder? These weeks leading UP to it ... the planning, the anxiety, the wondering how & when it will all happen ... & then WHAM. Last nite happened & it was like that switch for survival mode FINALLY flipped on & i made the decision to do it & i had not ONE ounce of remorse in the courthouse ... not one.
My closest family & freinds & work associates are all aware of what is giong on. I have SO much support coming out of the wood work it is incerdible. I am a lucky person.
I cannot TELL you how much all your support, prayers & emails & phone calls AND ADIVCE means to me. Im sorry i havent read all the posts to me the past day or so, but i will try at some point. Right now my eyes are about to close.
R~ Who is on he way to a new LIFE of SANITY!!! :)
FINALLY AND GOOD FOR YOU!!! Stay strong and stand your ground! The next part, is and always will be the hardest!
Keep in touch!
Whew!
CL-Blueliner4
I think that Blueliner's advice about basically "where the loyalties lie" is good - blood is indeed thicker than water. I think it's a good idea to trust only who you know for sure is on your side and doesn't have loyalties or blood with anyone else. I also think, R, that you are doing a great job and that you are on the path, albeit a hard one, to a better life.