Reading my first posts....
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| Fri, 01-20-2006 - 12:08pm |
Hi all,
Thanks for posting how to find old posts. What a light that went on in my head after reading that material. I printed a few of them out. Like I was saying in another post... I don't want to forget my bottom. I want to celebrate how far I've come. I hardly recognize myself. The imagery is like I was living in a ruined and desolate land under a mean, selfish, tyranical king (think the movie Lion King when Scar was king). I found a bridge leading someplace new (like the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel). The signs on the bridge promised a better land and better life, but I was afraid to cross it. So I stayed in the desolate wasteland. Then one day, I started on that bridge but looked back and as the wasteland got smaller and I didn't know what was really on the other side of that bridge... I'd turn back. Returned to the wasteland, set up camp and tried to make things better. Things didnt get better no matter how hard I tried, in fact they got worse. I look at that bridge and again thought about crossing it. And as I looked at it, I could hear a voice coming from the other side. And as I listened closely, I could hear laughing and celebrating and dancing and singing... everything that i wanted in my life. And I heard a voice that said "I am with you!" I told the king about the bridge. Tried to convince him to come with me. But on the other side, he knew he would not be king anymore so he didn't want to come. And worse, he didn't want me to leave. I stayed a little longer hoping I could convince the king to lay down his pride and come with me. But I could hear the singing, the laughter and the loving voice louder saying, "I am with you. Come. Trust me. I am the Way, the Truth and the Life." and I knew I had to cross that bridge. There was nothing left in the wasteland, no food, no water, no love, no fertile ground. And with a strength that came from above I started to cross that bridge one more time. I didn't look back, I kept my focus, and the wonderful thing is that I didn't cross that bridge alone. There were sooo many other people on that bridge with me, encouraging me. (sorry, I didn't realize i'd get so detailed when I started telling this story. lol But since I'm not writing a book here let me get to my point). I made it to the other side. That's where I am right now... on the other side of that bridge. In a land full of love, peace, joy, kindness, gentleness, selfcontrol, patience, etc. And the king on this side is Jesus Christ. He is a loving, merciful King. He leads me to green pastures. He fills me up every morning with a renewed mind and renewed strength. Everything I need is here on this side. This is the Promised Land filled with milk and honey. Filled with both my needs and my wants. Filled with the abundant life.
And reading those old posts was like taking a helicopter and traveling over the old wasteland. I'm looking at the devastation. I'm thinking, "That's where I lived. I didn't know there was a better land over the bridge." I don't want to live there again. I'm feeling so thankful to the new King, who takes good care of me. Unfortunately, I can't land my helicopter and just pick people up. No, each person has to make the first step and cross the bridge. But I suppose I can shout the Good News. I can tell people about the bridge. There is life after abuse. There are people along the way that will help. There is hope. There is a better, abundant life, filled with love and peace. It's one step at at time. (sometimes 2 steps forward and 1 step back) But you can do it.
Thanks for letting me share this imagery that came to me as I read my old posts. Thanks for helping me find the old posts. God Bless.
Loonybunny

Hi Bunny!
Awesome post!!! I loved reading your story!! I too crossed the bridge and God and Christ were waiting with open arms. The end result of my bridge cossing is peace, joy, happiness!!! I can't believe I stayed as long as I did with my abuser because I missed that much more time in this glorious state of happiness!!!
After reading your story, your story is a kind of helicopter letting those know who have to cross the bridge and leave their abuser, that there is glorious things to come when you give yourself the gift of peace, joy, God and self love.
Hugs Hugs!
I know. I look back on the TOTALY DENIAL i was in for so many years. Especially on the alcoholic support board. I really was clueless 5 yrs back. & then 2 yrs ago appx, when i found this board.
All i can say is HALLELUIHA! (or however you spell it! lol)