Is this a red flag?
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| Mon, 06-06-2005 - 11:34am |
Hello,
I am new to this board, but I have a question. I have been dating my boyfriend for 4mnths now and I have seen some sides of him that are making me uncertain of his behavior. About a month ago we got into a small disagreement and he totally blew up and kicked me out of his house and he even ripped the door off the hindges and broke it. Then 2 weeks ago I was playing with his 7yr old daughter and he told me to stop doing what I was doing with her because she might get hurt and I said oh she will be fine and he flipped out on me and threw me out of his house again and was yelling and screaming at me even infront of my grandfather (he picked me up) and he threw all of my stuff out of his house and it was laying on the sidewalk. (his daughter is from a previous relationship and him and his daughters mother still have a good bond). Then this past saturday I went to my friends bachorlette party and he found out that I was dancing with the stripper and flirting with him (it was just total innocent fun)and he threw me out of the house but before he did that he ripped the outfit he just bought me off of my body and I fell on the floor and hit my face and he threw me out of his house again. I am 9 weeks preggo too and it's his baby and he knows that I am preggo. I didn't drink at the bachorlette party.
Is this a red flag? I know I got preggo to soon but I don't want to get an abortion. But with him acting like this and I have only been with him for 4 mnths do you think things will just get worse down the line? I have never been in this situation before. I would really appreicate some advise.
Thankyou

Welcome to the board Cat...
I think this is just the beginning of a nightmare IMO.
Thankyou for your response. Unforuantly I do live with him. Here is a little background I am not proud of. I have a 5 1/2 yr old son and I was with him for 10 yrs ( I am only 25) and he is in his 30's. Well I just wasn't happy nomore with him so I started seeing this guy I am with now and I started cheating on my son's father with this new guy. Well my sons dad found out and kicked me out of our house and I have been living with the new guy since april. So I am in a rut.
He also brings up his daughter's mom alot too. He tells me sometimes that his daughter's mom is way more pretteir than me. ( I have seen her alot and she is beautiful, but I don't think it's fair to say that to me) He has been telling me to quit smoking because of me being preggo, and I told him that I can't quit smoking but I will try to cut down and he said " Well my daughters mom quit smoking on her own cause she felt guilty, and no one had to tell her to quit" and I see the daughter's mother everyday. She was his first love she took his virginity, his mother took her in when she was 15yrs old, and his mother and her are like mother and daughter. They were together for 4 yrs and have been broken up for 5.5 yrs, but they (him and her) always keeped a very close friendship. Even though they have been broken up for 5 yrs they still see each other every day because of their daughter. And his mother is always with her. And I am his first serious gf since they broke up. So I don't know if he still loves her? She is nice and friendly, but I feel insecure about her and him. She has a good job very independant she is the same age as me, and she has her own apt., nice car, and has a good job and is single and she loves being single. Me I don't work I haven't ever worked and I always have to be in a relationship.
I don't know what to do, I am so confused
I have to ask why you feel as if you always have to be in a relationship? I am also wondering, and I'm not a psychologist so I am not ruling out any clinical diagnosis here, but I am thinking you are also dealing w/some co-dependency.
Cateyes,
What you see in him is not only a red flag but it's a sign of what you're in for and what your son is in for. He will get worse and he will be meaner as time goes on. Things are gonna get real bad for you if you don't leave him forever.
And I mean forever.
How far along is your pregnancy?
Can you go to live with relatives? (and I mean right now... not at some point in the future).
You have to get away from monsters.
It's gonna get super bad if you stay. Worse than you could ever imagine.
How soon can you leave him?
Hi Cateyes, welcome -
This is beyond red flag, this is a gallon of red paint on the walls.
CL-Blueliner4
Be careful and try and update us when you can, honey!
CL-Blueliner4
What fabulous news that you're at a friends and not having contact!
Yay for you!
Keep up the good efforts!