restraining order.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
restraining order.......
4
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 4:23pm
Well, I guess there is only one true way to stop the madness and that is to put out a restraining order once and for all. My H found out through a friend that I had a one-night stand (actually it was a 15 minute fling) and the twin boys I had are not likely his. This happened 20 years ago and shortly after after we were married. It wasn't a planned event and I was intoxicated - no excuse- and when I found out I was pregnant, I assumed it was by my H. When I left him recently and moved back 'home' where I grew up, I ran into this man and my jaw dropped......the resemblence is overwhelming....and I have told my children and they are ok with it, for the most part. Their'dad' wasn't a good father and they are quite relieved to know they won't turn out like him......if it is true.....which I believe in my heart it is. My boys are over 6 ft tall, light brown hair and blue eyes. My H is 5'6" dark brown hair, brown eyes, and Italian heritage. My youngest, a daughter, looks like him, dark hair, skin and eyes. The 'fling' man is 6'2" and light complexion. It was a shock to look at pictures of his other boys, they look SO much like mine.
Anyway, since he got word of this 'rumor' he has been calling and I refuse to pick up. He has left over 45 messages on my roommate's answering machine, first just yelling at me to call him and calling me all sorts of crude names. But it progressed to threatening to kill my friends and family, starting here with my friend and her 6 yr old son and then to my sisters. One by one until I realize the error in my ways and 'face his wrath'......you know, that kinda thing. I have had to deal with this kind of behavior before and it has caused me to become numb to the threats, almost laughing at him.....but when he brought in the people I care for and what he will do to get to me, I have had enough. I have spent the last two days talking to everyone I know to make them aware of what may come about and went to the courthouse this morning. I see the judge at 1 tomorrow afternoon and I have a recording made by the town police chief to prove my request. I am sick to death of this whole thing. Why can't he just drive off a cliff and then I won't have to worry ever again about the lives of my friends and family....I have so much guilt for being here and subjecting them to this crap because they are trying to help me......how will I be able to look them in the face IF something DOES happen to them because I am here?? They all say don't worry, but I do.......no one should be treated this way for helping someone out of a bad situation.......Wish me luck.......
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2004
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 8:13pm

*hugs*

that really sucks...and i kno how you feel feeling guilty for ppl brought into it innocently but if they want to help you, thats the best thing u can have and if u get a restraining order and they know of the threates, hopefully someone will be able to watch that nothing happens....i can understand maybe being upset hearing something like that but come on act like a grown up..be a "man"..anywasy just kno im here for you either on the board or thru email or MSN k?

you're in my thoughts
javlyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 8:07am
Laptop, I hope it went well yesterday.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 11:19am
Yup, sounds like time for a RO. Do let us know how it goes.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 11:50am

hello everyone.......

Went to court yesterday, restraining order granted, I have temporary custody of daughter with NO visitation rights for him, now he just needs to be served for it to be in effect. The womens shelter here will fax it off to AZ - which is where he lives, for free......and they have given me a cell phone to keep with me at all times to call 911 if I need.

We have discussed a safety plan and the police department here has been informed and recorded his threats. I am on my way to a life I can be proud of...........