Results of Abusive List Checklist
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Results of Abusive List Checklist
| Wed, 08-25-2004 - 11:36am |
I just looked over the checklist thing and I counted 29. It says if over 7 you should get help. I don't know what to do. Last night was the first violent thing he's done. But I am scared. Someone please help me. I'm shaking again and crying at my desk.

Hi Sweetie -
What he did is rape.
CL-Blueliner4
Do not let this incident blow over. You can try to talk about it, but really, men who act this way will find a way to justify the behavior. Just start plotting your escape now, and just leave.
I know it is cliche, but love is not suppose to hurt. A partner should never ever ever make their partner feel this way.
I do not care if the rest of your relationship is perfect. It was all leading up to this one incident, and he is banking on you overlooking this.
Thank you so much for your support. I've spoken to a teacher at school that used to be a counselor, he agrees with all of you in that even if I try to make things work one more time, I need to realize in my head that this relationship is probably over, and is dangerous. He's given me a whole bunch of phone numbers. I'm getting together a plan to get out if I need to. In the meantime, I've told my husband that I'm going to counseling, and that if he ever does something like this again I'm gone. He kind of blew it off like he couldn't believe I thought it was a big deal, but promised it wouldn't happen again. I know how little that promise is worth, but at the least it's buying me a little time to get a plan and get things in order. Although I agree that I could go to the police, and that he deserves to be turned in, I've done some research and my state is one of the hardest states to get a conviction against a husband. Also, I don't have much evidence so it would just be my word against his. If it happens again, I'll call the police as soon as I get somewhere safe so they have a better case. If it doesn't happen again, I'm one of the very very few lucky ones. Once again, Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys have been wonderful.