~*~*~ROLL CALL !!~*~*~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
~*~*~ROLL CALL !!~*~*~
24
Wed, 01-05-2005 - 1:41am

Hello to everyone, both posters and lurkers alike, and Happy New Year (or Hippo Gnu Deer, depending on who you talk to).


So, here we are, first of the year, a new year and a time to set some goals for the year.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 1:13am

Well I hate the holidays, not to sound like a grinch but it just ment putting on the happy face around my B/F's family and acting like everything is great. And I have slowly since I met him become less festive when it comes to the holidays. Every year I get to put and take down the tree, I do most of it alone or with the kids, I had a miserable New Years, sat in a bar to watch his friend (who I don't like) sing one dumb song with a dumb band. Or I had the option of sitting at hme with him asleep and watching the ball drop all by myself. Of course I opted to go to the bar and at least be around other adults.

But my goals are simple I have 3

1. Do well in all of my classes this year so I can finish this year. I need to hold a 3.5 average too, to be accepted into the B.A psychology program at the 4 year school I am looking at. So that means making time for hmework among my million other duties as a house-slave/single parent(basically that is what it feels like)
2. Learn as much as I can about him, and what I mean by that is I am picking up a small voice recorder to record our arguements. Now I know that sounds sneeky, but I plan to use them only for my own observations then dystroy them when finished transcribing. I want to observe him in a profession mannor so to speak(who knows may be able to do a report on him in a later class..lol..) It is also for my own sanity. So I can have proof of what I said and what he said, since memory does not always prove to work as well as it should.
3. Become a more loving parent t my children. I need to let go of anger I hold hat him since it is doing nothing but making me stressed out. If let go and say I will put up with it, to an extent of course, and just chide him to appease the demon. I have noticed my self becoming less patient with the kids when he is around because all of his yelling at them makes me edgy but I need to just ignore him and use my brand of disapline with the kids in hopes to show them the right way to be, rather then being a raving lunatic like his is. If I set a good example of how to be then I hope that they will get the picture that their fathers behaviour is not acceptible and that they should not immitate him.

I guess it is not as simple as I thought before I started typing.
There is also one other thing I would like to do for myself, I want to finish my book that I wrote. It is a childs fairy tale that I started writing a few months a go. I want to finish it because that is one thing he said I would not do and have not had the time to sit down and do. And plus if I sed it to some editors and publishers who know I might just get lucky, so far my kids loved it.

I wish everyone a safe and tolorable year, and if you are hoppy now may it continue for you and spred it's way around all those that know you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 11:57am

I live in Virginia.

My goal this year is to find a perminant place to live. Work out a financial budget. Start a 401K (I can do that online so this one should get done pronto.)

My immediate goals are to file my taxes early, use that money for a security deposit for my new place. I'd like to clean up/ rebuild my credit this year. I have a two year goal of buying a house.

Update my resume/reel and start posting for a better paying job. Secure a job where I feel appreciated, I work with good people, my creative talents are exercised and appreciated.

My husband is most likely going to go to prison and serve some serious time. I'm a little scared about that and have suspended goals where my marriage is concerned. I guess the first step is healing myself and creating healthy boundaries that cannot be shaken. Where will my knew found self esteem take me? The possibilities are endless.

And finally, I'd like to get more connected into my church. I'd like closer friendships and find a ministry I'm really passionate about. Possibly in the Creative Ministry.

After typing this out I can see I have great hopes for 2005 which tells me I'm healing. The future once again looks bright.

Thanks for the support I get here.

Avatar for smoothone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 12:38pm
My real name is Sara I am still with my abuser but am not afraid of him finding this because I only use it at work and once at home and now how to clear history on computer and what not. Anyway my goal this year is to become a stronger person and finish as many classes as I can. I am taking all my pre reqs for the LPN program. I have not posted in a log time because the last time I posted I said I was leaving my abuser and obviously i still haven't :-( Hope everyone has a wonderful and Happy New Year!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 5:20pm

Welcome home!


We're glad you're safe, that's what matters.

CL-Blueliner4

Avatar for itsgoodtobeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 11:16pm
Well by this time next year I want to have some money saved, quit smoking, and be back at Purdue University getting a degree to get me out of food service. All possible and will happen. Just ask me next year.hehehe. I'd like to do more things but I think that is as many goals as I can take for one year.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2004
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 2:44pm
Hi people... i'm brand new to this board, as of today at... 2 pm. Ya'll can call me Arien, which means I'm an Aries, hence I'm Arien, not Aryan which people get confused all the time and ask me if I'm "white power" which I can't stand. I'm 23, soon to be 24, have an 18 month old daughter which, and I'm not bragging, should be a model because she's so gorgeous! Ok maybe I am bragging... My only goal I have is for her to have all the love, attention, food, house warmings, and education she needs. Other than that I suppose I could care less what happens to me, lol... I am in school though. 2 year degree for equine business management then on to a 4 year degree. And I'm an artist. I love to paint and all that stuff. That's me I guess....
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2005
Sun, 01-09-2005 - 10:16pm

Hi..I'm new to this board as well, but have been lurking for a couple of weeks.

My name is Sarah. I'm 25 and a teacher...I guess my goals for this year will be

1)To eat regularly (I've lost 25 pounds and not in a good way since the abuse started.)
2)To become separated from my abuser(I'm looking at rentals tomorrow..yay!)
3)To learn to love myself again.

4)Don't know if this is good or not...to try to figure out if I should give my abuser another chance or not...he has admitted it, is in counseling with me, and really seems to want to change...i don't know if he can. I feel like I have already given so much of myself to our marriage that I'm lost, and have nothing left...I know it's selfish, but I don't want to put in the work it would take to fix our marriage. Don't know if I can.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Mon, 01-10-2005 - 12:50am
My name is Ashley. I'm 21 almost 22. I'm still with my abuser/bf. I've just recently found out what he's doing is abuse so I'm taking some time to think things out. But this year I'd like to finish school and figure out how to take a brake from bf or just leave. I've got great feed back from eveyone so thank you all.
Ashley
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-10-2005 - 1:53am
Rebecca (37), dd (almost 5) & STBX (40). RI. My goal: to get out of my marraige safely. My WISH is that it stays sane & he doesnt go off the deep end. But i am pretty sure it wont happen that way. I want my dd to be in a PEACEFUL home, w/ out constant bickering & yelling & name calling ... mostly, i dont want her to think this is how you are SUPPOSSED to be treated by a man. Oh, & i dont want to be fat & single ;) WW, here i come! R~
Avatar for bama1gal
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-10-2005 - 1:54am

Wow, so many new faces. Or maybe I've just been away too long again. I guess these days you'd call me more of a lurker, but this place and these people saved me. I'm Cheryl and I've been around here for a couple of years now, although it's not often that I have the time to post much anymore. I am from Alabama but have lived in Arizona for 17 years now. I've got two girls - Dani, 17 and headed to college in about 2 weeks, and Hannah, 10.

My goals for the new year are pretty simple, although a few of them cost a bit of money! I've got to get a new car and will be moving this summer about an hour away from where I am now to open a new campus for my school. I'm working full time and am in grad school full time, so I guess one of my main goals is to do better at working out my schedule. I'd like to lose a little weight and quit smoking - again - and maybe, just maybe, actually go out on a real date again. I've been free since May 2003, and haven't taken the plunge yet. Been thinking about it for awhile and I think it's time I do.

To all of the newcomers, welcome. You've come to a wonderful place of love and support. To all of you old timers, I miss talking to you all. Hope everyone has a happy and safe 2005!!

Peace and hugs,
Cheryl =)