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| Wed, 01-05-2005 - 1:41am |
Hello to everyone, both posters and lurkers alike, and Happy New Year (or Hippo Gnu Deer, depending on who you talk to).
So, here we are, first of the year, a new year and a time to set some goals for the year.

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Well I hate the holidays, not to sound like a grinch but it just ment putting on the happy face around my B/F's family and acting like everything is great. And I have slowly since I met him become less festive when it comes to the holidays. Every year I get to put and take down the tree, I do most of it alone or with the kids, I had a miserable New Years, sat in a bar to watch his friend (who I don't like) sing one dumb song with a dumb band. Or I had the option of sitting at hme with him asleep and watching the ball drop all by myself. Of course I opted to go to the bar and at least be around other adults.
But my goals are simple I have 3
1. Do well in all of my classes this year so I can finish this year. I need to hold a 3.5 average too, to be accepted into the B.A psychology program at the 4 year school I am looking at. So that means making time for hmework among my million other duties as a house-slave/single parent(basically that is what it feels like)
2. Learn as much as I can about him, and what I mean by that is I am picking up a small voice recorder to record our arguements. Now I know that sounds sneeky, but I plan to use them only for my own observations then dystroy them when finished transcribing. I want to observe him in a profession mannor so to speak(who knows may be able to do a report on him in a later class..lol..) It is also for my own sanity. So I can have proof of what I said and what he said, since memory does not always prove to work as well as it should.
3. Become a more loving parent t my children. I need to let go of anger I hold hat him since it is doing nothing but making me stressed out. If let go and say I will put up with it, to an extent of course, and just chide him to appease the demon. I have noticed my self becoming less patient with the kids when he is around because all of his yelling at them makes me edgy but I need to just ignore him and use my brand of disapline with the kids in hopes to show them the right way to be, rather then being a raving lunatic like his is. If I set a good example of how to be then I hope that they will get the picture that their fathers behaviour is not acceptible and that they should not immitate him.
I guess it is not as simple as I thought before I started typing.
There is also one other thing I would like to do for myself, I want to finish my book that I wrote. It is a childs fairy tale that I started writing a few months a go. I want to finish it because that is one thing he said I would not do and have not had the time to sit down and do. And plus if I sed it to some editors and publishers who know I might just get lucky, so far my kids loved it.
I wish everyone a safe and tolorable year, and if you are hoppy now may it continue for you and spred it's way around all those that know you.
I live in Virginia.
My goal this year is to find a perminant place to live. Work out a financial budget. Start a 401K (I can do that online so this one should get done pronto.)
My immediate goals are to file my taxes early, use that money for a security deposit for my new place. I'd like to clean up/ rebuild my credit this year. I have a two year goal of buying a house.
Update my resume/reel and start posting for a better paying job. Secure a job where I feel appreciated, I work with good people, my creative talents are exercised and appreciated.
My husband is most likely going to go to prison and serve some serious time. I'm a little scared about that and have suspended goals where my marriage is concerned. I guess the first step is healing myself and creating healthy boundaries that cannot be shaken. Where will my knew found self esteem take me? The possibilities are endless.
And finally, I'd like to get more connected into my church. I'd like closer friendships and find a ministry I'm really passionate about. Possibly in the Creative Ministry.
After typing this out I can see I have great hopes for 2005 which tells me I'm healing. The future once again looks bright.
Thanks for the support I get here.
Welcome home!
We're glad you're safe, that's what matters.
CL-Blueliner4
Hi..I'm new to this board as well, but have been lurking for a couple of weeks.
My name is Sarah. I'm 25 and a teacher...I guess my goals for this year will be
1)To eat regularly (I've lost 25 pounds and not in a good way since the abuse started.)
2)To become separated from my abuser(I'm looking at rentals tomorrow..yay!)
3)To learn to love myself again.
4)Don't know if this is good or not...to try to figure out if I should give my abuser another chance or not...he has admitted it, is in counseling with me, and really seems to want to change...i don't know if he can. I feel like I have already given so much of myself to our marriage that I'm lost, and have nothing left...I know it's selfish, but I don't want to put in the work it would take to fix our marriage. Don't know if I can.
Ashley
Wow, so many new faces. Or maybe I've just been away too long again. I guess these days you'd call me more of a lurker, but this place and these people saved me. I'm Cheryl and I've been around here for a couple of years now, although it's not often that I have the time to post much anymore. I am from Alabama but have lived in Arizona for 17 years now. I've got two girls - Dani, 17 and headed to college in about 2 weeks, and Hannah, 10.
My goals for the new year are pretty simple, although a few of them cost a bit of money! I've got to get a new car and will be moving this summer about an hour away from where I am now to open a new campus for my school. I'm working full time and am in grad school full time, so I guess one of my main goals is to do better at working out my schedule. I'd like to lose a little weight and quit smoking - again - and maybe, just maybe, actually go out on a real date again. I've been free since May 2003, and haven't taken the plunge yet. Been thinking about it for awhile and I think it's time I do.
To all of the newcomers, welcome. You've come to a wonderful place of love and support. To all of you old timers, I miss talking to you all. Hope everyone has a happy and safe 2005!!
Peace and hugs,
Cheryl =)
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