roller coaster

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
roller coaster
2
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 3:04pm
Of course life is a roller coaster cause I'm still with this abusive man.

Our 18yo son moved out on Friday, oh hubby is mad, he doens't have him here to punch and yell at anymore. Son called me on my cell phone while at hubby's company's picnic on Saturday, one of his coworkers overheard me talking to him, and so told hubby about it. Hubby came home at lunch with his panties all in a wad, yelling at me for hiding things from him, clenched both his hands into fists and got right in my face yelling that I am a "cow" and a "Bitch", picked up one of the chairs from the table, I thought he was going to throw it at me, but he didn't, fortunately, he didn't lay a finger on me, just yelled and threatened. I hadn't told him about our son calling, he left hecause he was tired of getting yelled at and put down all the time.

Thought he was going out of country for business next week, but that got cancelled. Which is both good and bad, Bad...that's when I was planning on leaving, Good...now the youngest can finish school this year.

But I always get so confused after he rants and raves, alot of what he says seems to make sense at the time. But then I think about it, and it's just being manipulative, or am I being manipulative like he says. I never know.

All I know is, he yells at us, calls us names, threatens us, sometimes punches us or throws things, is controlling about where I work, and what I do and who I talk to. Forces me to have sex with him when I don't want to. Maybe this isn't abuse and I am blowing all this out of proportion like he says. I just don't know anything anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
In reply to: jljz
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 3:31pm
(((HUGS))) DO NOT blame yourself! I do it to but I guess it is eaiser to look inside from outide in someone relationship! I just read your post and thought oh my that is my life without the older children and the punching. My SO does the same things to me and my children and I always blame me, I am not trying to see that it is not me it is him. You should too. I know it is eaiser said than done, keep telling yourself that you didn't do anything wrong, he is the A$$ and is trying to make him feel better about himself. A friend of mine who is also a friend of his said that alot of men get mad when they are hurt or insecure, and that is their way of making them feel better is making the ones around them feel like crap and hurting them. Keep that in mind when you know it is not your faut. Take care. Need to vent or just a friend, feel free to e-mail. mom21980@hotmail.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2003
In reply to: jljz
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 5:57pm
And that's what they are the best at aren't they? Making you nuts, thinking it's either your fault, or it's in your head, or that you're the abuser.

It sounds awful. You have to take steps to protect yourself and your children. Do like your 18 year old and split.

Good Luck

Sarah