Secondary Wounding!
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| Mon, 06-20-2005 - 12:32pm |
There are some posters on here that have alluded to wanting to learn more, rather then continue to harm other people. I would like to contribute some learning material:
Secondary Wounding
Secondary wounding occurs because people who have never been hurt sometimes have difficulty understanding and being patient with people who have been hurt. It also occurs because people who have never confronted human tragedy are sometimes unable to comprehend the lives of those in occupations that involve dealing with human suffering or mass casualties on a daily basis.
Some people simply are not strong enough to accept the negatives in life. When such individuals confront a trauma survivor, they may reject or disparage the survivor because that individual represents the parts of life they have chosen to deny.
Trauma survivors may also be rejected or disparaged by other survivors-those who have chosen to deny or repress their own trauma(s) and have not yet dealt with their losses and anger. When trauma survivors who are not dealing with their traumatic pasts see someone who is obviously suffering emotionally or physically, they may need to block out that person in order to leave their own denial system intact.
Following are some of the common causes of secondary wounding:
Ignorance:
In the past, there were few, if any courses on victimization, domestic violence, or child abuse available to professionals or the lay public. Today, such information is readily available both in professional training and in the popular media.
Burnout:
Many helping professionals (hospital personnel, law enforcement, emergency responders, victim advocates, etc.) are themselves suffering from some form of PTSD or burnout. As a result of having worked for years with trauma survivors they, like those survivors, are emotionally depleted. They may also, like many trauma survivors, feel unappreciated and unrecognized by the general public and by others in their workplace(s).
Just world philosophy :
According to the "just world philosophy" people get what they deserve and deserve what they get. The basic assumption is that if you are sufficiently careful, intelligent, moral, competent, etc., you can avoid misfortune. Thus, people who suffer trauma are somehow to blame for their misfortune. Even if the victims are not directly blamed, they are seen as causing their victimization by being inherently weak or ineffectual.
The "just world philosophy" arises out of the very human need to feel in control of our lives. Contemplating the possibility that at any moment one's life or health, loved ones, or possessions might be destroyed or damaged, or that at any moment one could become a victim of a malevolent force, is too frightening for most people to bear.
Influence of culture:
As a nation today, we pride ourselves on our "can-do" spirit and American ingenuity, which we are certain can overcome almost any hardship. The American Dream tells us that our country is so bountiful and so full of opportunities that anyone who wants the good life can have it; all (s)he has to do is pull him/herself up by the bootstraps.
When a traumatic event occurs, it flies in the face of this underlying cultural assumption.
Overcoming Secondary Wounding
Healing from secondary wounding experiences requires first that you be able to identify what hit you and then that you are able to distance yourself from the negative responses of the others involved in these experiences.
This distancing needs to be achieved on both the emotional and the mental level. On the emotional level, the goal of distancing is for you not to be devastated by the experience. In all likelihood, you will still be troubled by others' insensitivity, but you can learn not to allow them to destroy you emotionally. On the mental level, the goal of distancing is to become more resistant to the negative judgments of your worth that secondary wounding experiences deliver.
You need to learn that, generally, the rejection, humiliation, or attack says more about the ignorance, insensitivity, fears, or prejudices of the other person than anything about you, and that it reflects larger societal problems, including the prevalence of blame-the-victim attitudes and the lack of adequate funding for victim-compensation services. Once you learn to view your secondary wounding experiences from this perspective you will have some armor against the pain involved in many interactions.
In addition to the emotional vulnerability resulting from trauma, biological changes can occur that make you exceptionally sensitive to, and observant of, others' responses. Thus, very subtle cues in the behavior of others will affect you much more than they would a non-traumatized person.
Another way to counter the negative messages of those who lack understanding and compassion is with affirming "self-talk" of your own. By distancing yourself and engaging in affirming "self-talk" you can avoid two destructive but legitimate reactions many trauma survivors have to secondary wounding experiences-(1) sinking into helpless-hopeless thoughts and feelings and (2) being overwhelmed by the urge to strike back, verbally or physically.
Common Secondary Wounding Responses
Being able to identify the responses of others, you will be better able to view them for what they truly are. Naming them will increase your ability to cope with secondary wounding experiences in a constructive manner and will less, though not eliminate, the pain and humiliation.
Denial and Disbelief:
When people respond to you with statements such as "You're exaggerating," "That could never happen," or simply, "I don't believe you," they are denying the reality of your trauma. Abusers and criminals are often the first, but not the only, ones to deny their victims the reality of their experience.
Discounting:
When you are being discounted, people do not deny that the traumatic event occurred; however, they minimize the magnitude of the event and/or its effect on you.
Blaming the Victim:
By implying that you were somehow responsible for what happened to you, others can minimize their own fears. Blaming the victim is an attempt by others to reduce the fear that they, too, could become the victim of a traumatic event.
Ignorance:
If people have not experienced trauma themselves, or have not learned about it in other ways, they often do now know what to say or do. Also, often the fact that you have been victimized threatens other people's defenses against the idea that they, too, could be victimized.
People are often ignorant about the possible economic, social, and psychological consequences of trauma. This ignorance can even result in inappropriate medical or psychological treatment methods.
Generalization:
Once you are labeled as a victim, there is a tendency for others to interpret most, if not all, of your emotions and behavior in light of that label. Furthermore, once you are labeled, it is very difficult to escape from that label.
Ignorance:
Most secondary wounding experiences feel cruel, making it difficult to assess whether they actually arise from a desire to cause pain or simply from ignorance, generalization, etc. Sometimes it is a mixture of both.

Thank you for this incredible information and post.
CL-Blueliner4
Very well put, toady.
Wow
What a post!
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for that information. It really struck a chord.