Seems like the GAL does totally get it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Seems like the GAL does totally get it!
2
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 5:59pm

The GAL actually called me today to see how things went arranging visitation after court. I told her how angry he was & that he ended up threatening not to take Ave . (i KNOW she now SEES how he is, it is SUCH a releif to know that he didnt bamboozle her). She was quite dissapointed he was like that, saying "I really hoped he would see the positives in my report, i really tried to tone things down in the report, to help him to see those positives - but hopefully the decent communictaion you had with him for this visit will only improve". She then went on to compliment me IMMENSELY! :) She said she told the judge & the attys that "this is not a woman who is out to punish her X by keeping the child from him. She has done everything in her power to SAFELY encourage the father-daughter relationship even when she didnt have to, through all of this, i very much commend her parenting skills & I trust that she is doing the absolute right thing by her child". WOW! & she said to me "I see many parents who take the opportunity to punish the X with the children & it is a really difficult thing to work with - I am very happy to see this is not the situation here. I see that your concern over her emotionaly & physcial safety is at the forefront of your dealings with her father, as well as keeping the relationship open for him to pursue".


And, we talked about the alcohol consumtion issues. I reiterated my wish for the clause to stay in for STBX, to not be able to consume alcohol while he has her, or before he has her. I told her that i didnt think it woudl absolutely become an issue, but that he tends to go up & down on his drinking. & if some situation presents itself like typical Sunday afternoon Rugby game where all the guys bring their famlies, & the beer is flowing, that i truly worry that in that type of sitautaion, he wont see the harm in a couple of beers - & i have seen him many times NOT be able to stop or use good judgement, & i dont want that happening with Averey with him. I also told her i know that it will be sort of difficult to enforce that rule with him, but, at least it will make him think twice. She also said that she was not putting in any clauses that I cannot consume alcohol. She said "It is not you with an alcohol problem - if M's atty wants to hash the issue out with your atty, fine, but i believe it was just a typical atty defense mechanism saying 'if MY client has to do something, then YOUR client does as well".


Something else interesting she said "i knew that some of the incidents i outlined in that report would upset him, but i thought MAYBE it would make him see, if he coudl READ things he has done, in B&W, that this is not in any way your fault". It's nice that she tried anyway!


Oh Boy, guess Ave isnt staying overnite - she just called (its almost 6 pm) & wants to come home. She didnt sound upset, just saying she wants to sleep at home tonite. Mike sounded a little upset & tried to tell him "don't get upset with her, dont make her fell bad" ... & he said "Im not - but i am pissed". I said "i understand it upsets you, but this is normal. It is just going to take her a little while to get used to this". & he said "yeah, whatever, its NOT normal, splitting up". So ... I am on my way to get her. So much for my 1st Sat nite off! lol


R~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 7:30pm
I am SOOO happy that the GAL is seeing your ex for what he truely is and that she is seeing you for what you truely are: a loving, concerned, excellant mother!! I just hope so much that your XH can get the help he needs so that he can one day have a good relationship with Avery and not be so resentful about the divorce. One day he'll realize that he brought this on himself and hopefully will change himself for the better, but, until then, it really seems like you are doing all you can in the best interest of your sweet daughter.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 9:44pm
That is wonderful news R!
5yrssm