Self Abuse/ Flashbacks
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Self Abuse/ Flashbacks
| Sat, 02-11-2006 - 2:18am |
I'm up tonight just like most nights because I keep thinking of the past. I am just wondering if anyone has done what I have done. When JB would start on me hitting me or pretty much taking me hostage I would bang myself on the head. I would hit myself with my fist or beer bottle or what ever. I guess I would do it because I felt that was the only way I could control the way I would feel. If I was going to hurt I wanted to come from me. It was like a relief. Crazy huh?? He would look at this as just more proof that it is me who is crazy therefore I made him do whatever he did. Sometimes It would actually make him stop. His family has turned agaisnt me and my son. It makes me so angry because he has done some of the same things to them. My parents do not talk to me because they never liked him. I just feel so alone.
