sharing custody with abusive ex
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|Sat, 03-12-2005 - 9:02pm|
How do you deal with sharing child custody with abusive exs? My ex-h was very abusive to me and verbally abusive to baby. After I divorced him, we ended up w/joint custody and he's been verbally/emotionally abusive and sexually inappropriate w/kids. I can't change the custody situation. He's a real bully and an expert manipulator. I am looking for advice from other people going through the same thing. I just want to get myself and my angels through this as well as possible, to keep the conflict as low as possible, and to keep the kids as safe as I can. The shared custody is really important to him for one obvious reason: it's the only thing in his life that allows him to keep a connection with me, to keep controlling me and hurting me in any way he can. This is a really big deal for him, which is why I can't try to change it (tried already, and the trying just about killed me physically and emotionally). I have cut down the in-person and phone contact and have been clear about keeping him out of my life except for dicussions relating to the kids.
If you've been through it, please let me know what kept you going. I'm still hurting from the abuse and fear he inflicted on me for those years. I get cold and start shaking all over when he calls me or writes me--that's how scared I still am. I'm in therapy but need also to connect with other people who are going through this also. I love my kids and they need me, and I want to be as strong for them as possible, physically, mentally, emotionally.