shocked

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
shocked
1
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 2:35pm
I left my husband in April, divorce was final in July. Once I made up my mind to go, I just felt happy and relieved. He was abusive and he also drank a lot. Then two days ago he calls me from jail. The police found crack on him. I bailed him out, he paid me all the money back in full yesterday. I don't care if he smokes crack or not or what he does. It just shocked me, because I got to thinking this isn't the first time he's using it and I had no idea he used it. He told me he only experimented with it as a teenager. Then when I asked he admitted to using it while we were together. I honestly had no idea. I am just so shocked that I could be married to some one for many years and not know. I never used cocaine, I hate cocaine, I've seen people get really messed up on it. I have no respect for anyone that has gone done more cocaine than just experimenting as a teenager. It's like everything I thought about the world and my ability to percieve things has been shaken up. Now I'm walking around thinking my 80 yr old grandmother could be smoking crack and I wouldn't know it. It's like my whole world is not what I thought it was. Like I said I don't care what he does, it's the fact that I was with a crackhead for so long-I hate that thought, and the fact that I had no idea I was with a crackhead. I hope I can get over this shock eventually. Also, I told him I am not bailing him out of jail any more. No matter what. If you've never been to jail, or been a visitor in jail, you get patted down. I understand the rules, but I haven't smoked crack and I will not be patted down again, because I don't like being treated that way. Also, I wasn't allowed to bring my book it, and I was there a total of two hours, again I understand it's jail and it's not supposed to be fun, but I didn't smoke crack and I don't want to be told when I can and cannot read a book, so I won't be going back there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: hope1056
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 3:27pm

Hi Hope -


While I've never had the same experience you did, one of my friends did and it rocked her world.

CL-Blueliner4