should i take him back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
should i take him back?
4
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 1:43am
I have a question...Im kinda stuck and dont know what to do. I married my husband in 2002, we were both 18, just out of hs and we had a daughter who was born later that year. We were together a year before we got married. He was never abusive or hurtful. As time went on, he joined the army, and even a few months before that he became very verbally abusive, and started pushing me around. I was fed up with it so i kicked him out sept 5 of last year(our daughters 2nd bday) he was horrible to me. Always lieing to me about what he did, where he went what he spent money on...he had been out of the army since april of last year and i was the one working, supporting us, while he "watched" our daughter. Id come home home and he would be on the internet...looking at porn chatting with women...stuff...and have the nerve to tell me he wasnt...I cant even explain all that he did to me, he was very hurtful to the point i wanted to kill myself, but my daughter kept me alive. he never did anything but that and playvideo games..he never thought Id have the strength to leave him, but now he claims he knows what he did was wrong, he never knew what he had until he lost it...i guess my question is, can a guy change in just a few months? he says he has. but id have to move to ohio, from florida , because thats where he's working now. Im just kinda scared to take the risk though i do believe he has improved.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 8:42am
People can say anything. Doesn't automatically make it true. I wouldn't leave Florida. It is January first of all. Ohio in January vrs. Florida in January? Plus uprooting your whole life on some one's verbal statement?
Avatar for itsgoodtobeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 8:44am
Hats off to you I couldn't leave my ex on my dd's 2nd birthday. Moving from Fl to Oh is a big move not to mention you don't even really know what you will find. It's been three years and my ex hasn't changed. He has been reborn or gotten help or whatever several times and it hasn't work. H might be sorry he lost you but not really you but more so the power and control he wants over you. Now wouldn't be a good time anyway too much flooding going on in OH. If it has just been months he has not made real change and I probally know more about what your not saying in your post. My ex too looked at alot of porn and also felt like I owed him something and I too was the one who supported the family. I say stick close to your family if your family is in Fl and of corse he wants you to move to Oh and isolate you. Keep reading and posting dear you will find that most of these guys are all alike in ways and you are not alone. I had moments when I wondered if he had changed but more than that I liked the peace of not having to deal with it and my kids like not having the naked people around anymore(what they call the porn).HUGS and Prayers to you dear. This is not easy.>Jo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 2:04pm

My answer to this would be NO.


And the reason I say that, is because I speak from personal experience.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 2:40pm

Hi Christina, welcome -


I'm in agreement with everyone who has posted to you so far.

CL-Blueliner4