Single Forever! Yipee.
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Single Forever! Yipee.
| Wed, 04-14-2004 - 11:31pm |
Is it just me, or am I the only one who can't wait to be single? I can't wait to be alone. To be able to spend hours in the bookstore if I want, to do all the things that husband always frowned on and bitched about until I just gave up, like going to a ceramic's class, finishing the afghan I started crochetting last year, sketching, painting with water colors, re-learning to play on a keyboard that I bought a couple of years ago (cause there's no way he'd agree to a piano!) ;o) watching decorating shows all day long on my day off, reading and reading and reading some more. Shopping, and not hearing 'you don't need that' everytime I touch or look at something, even if I'm just looking!
Maybe it's because I'm somewhat of a loner to begin with that I don't mind in the least spending the majority of my time alone. But, oh, the peace and quiet will be heaven sent.
Jessie

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Oh, to dream....
mel
Yes, I'd love to spend money without having to fight over it, which ruins my mood and I don't end up getting what I want. And painting a room (my office for writing) in RED, yes, a nice deep red which I love so much. And...oh there are so many "and's". I'm going apartment hunting this afternoon. Hopefully I'll find a suite or something so I can take the dogs. But, I'd love to find a small house or apartment instead. I don't like the idea of living in a basement suite, makes me feel suffocated.
I hope you do spend money on things your kids would benefit from, and things that you love. And I'm happy to meet another loner ;o) Enjoy your peace and quiet. My TV hasn't been on for two days, how nice.
Jessie
Since I left my h...I LOVE my me time. I tried carrying on a relationship with a different man..but it didn't work because it meant cutting back on ME time to spend with him. Maybe thats selfish..but what I want is important now. The "me" time I get is when he takes my kids every second weekend. They leave on a Friday evening and come back on a Sunday afternoon. By Sunday morning I am missing them and wanting them home real bad. But the rest of the time its ME ME ME ME!! Whether its curled up on the couch with a blanket watching what I WANT! Or doing a word seek puzzle...or reading a book...or going for a walk. If my house gets negelected a bit while I'm having ME time..so be it. That could never have happened with h living with me. He was a neat fanatic and things had to be perfect. Quite honestly..I don't think being a "neat fantatic" is in my blood. My house is LIVED IN...not a mess...but not PERFECT!
It always reminds me of the movie, "Sleeping with the enemy" and the way the towels hanging in the bathroom had to be perfect. After she had left him...she looked at the towels, grinned and intentionally made them NOT so perfect looking.
Its possible to have that freedom again for any of you still in your abusive relationships. It has to be however when you want it, when you want it bad enough, when YOU are ready. I had members of this board support me but I think they also knew it had to be when I was ready to do it. That time finally came...I think many wondered if I would ever leave the situation. I did when I was ready to.
Good luck to all of you...the "me" time is WONDERFUL!!
I, too am a loner - have been since I was very young. I dreamed (for about 6 years) of the day when I would be out from under the dictatorship of my STBX. He would turn off shows while I was watching them - all I was allowed to watch was the news. 5:00, 6:00, and then national news. He is a "neat freak" - I used to compare him to Felix Unger from the Odd Couple, LOL. He always tried to tell me who I could talk to and what about - more specifically what NOT about (meaning anything relating to him or his behavior) and he even went so far as to try and tell me who I could and couldn't vote for - yes, believe it. He made fun of my clothes, hair, body, you-name-it. It was always "my parents do things this way..." or "I was raised to do things that way..." and whichever was always the RIGHT WAY. But my way was always WRONG. Oh my gosh, and the temper tantrums every morning and every evening. I could never have a day off work without him suddenly getting "sick" or finding some way to stay home and monitor me all day to make sure I was working around the house. The stupid part was that whenever he stayed home from work (due to drug or alcohol binge) he spent the whole day in bed sleeping!! But that was OK for him, just not for me. I could spend all day cleaning the house, but rather than see that, he would go around looking for anything that got missed and then rant & rave about it for hours.
Well, about 5 months ago I finally made my dream come true!! I found a cute little apartment real close to my work, packed my things while he was out of town, took them to a storage unit, and then right after he came back, I SPLIT.
Now there's NOBODY to tell me anything! I watch what I want, when I want. I go where I want and do whatever my heart desires. I'm still battling others wanting to take up my time, but I'm finally winning that battle too. I need LOTS and LOTS of "me-time". The first time I went to my support group, they thought I was a freak because they were all afraid of being alone. I told them all I wanted was to be alone, but nobody would let me - LOL
Good Luck to you Jess.....I hope you find your freedom soon and begin to enjoy life again!!
LULA-mae
Wow, how bizarre that there are so many men out there who are neat freaks isn't it? My man is a neat freak too. He didn't monitor what I watch on tv, but he is in charge of the remote and will watch stupid shows that are all brawn and brain (but not sports), but have no intellict. I just walk away from the tv and turn on the computer. I'm also an aspiring writer, so I go and do that or surf the internet.
I'd be the same as you, my place won't be sterile, but it'll still be clean. And I won't have him coming home and asking 'did you do housework today?' to which I always say 'yes', then the creep says 'oh, it doesn't look like it.' Creep, oh you can't see the vacuum marks on the carpet, or smell the cleaner in the air, or see your reflection off the bleeping shine on the floor? Grr.
Oh, I have such a headache today. My friend is going to pick me up in about 10 minutes and we're going apartment hunting. Only thing is, I've secured on job, but it's on call and I have to wait until tomorrow or sat to talk to my old boss to see if they want me back full time or part time. Either way won't pay me as much as I had been making because I won't have the title. So looking for an apartment is kind of dumb I think as I can't sign a lease or anything without knowing how much money I'm going to be making.
I was hoping to move out the first week of May, but now that won't be happening because if I don't find something today, then I won't have any time to myself to look again until May 3 when he starts working again. Ah, the vicious cycle. Oh well, I keep telling myself, even in my present situation I'm lucky.
Jessie
Jessie
Although I'm not a loner, I really enjoy my "me" time.
Peace and hugs,
Cheryl =)
The minute you settle for less than you
Thanks!
Jessie
Now, my STBX was exactly the opposite of a neat freak. He's one of the most unorganized, messiest people I've ever met. He thinks he's great, though. Funny how things are so much cleaner around the house since he's been gone except that the kids are 'pigs', too. STBX never did anything at all around the house, but if he suddenly needed something and couldn't find it then it was all my fault because things were unorganized!
One biggie for me is that I go out and come home when I want. I used to always get a sick, tight, 'hurry up' feeling in my stomach whenever I was out. I think that is because he used to always go out drinking if I wasn't home by a certain time. Then he'd go on binges where he tried to be gone before I got home.
Anyway, basically, I'm much, calmer, happier, sleep better. There are periods of depression and sadness, but not for him - just what I didn't have and that I wasted so many years on it.
Hugs,
Jackie
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