So confused.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
So confused.....
4
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 9:00pm

Ladies,

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 11:02pm

First of all, take a DEEEEEEEEEEEEEP breath sister.

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 8:01am

Repeat after me: Keep going forward keep going forward keep going forward keep going forward. Don't go backward don't go backward don't go backward. I know it seems like he's changing, it's only been a month. Please remember that only 1% of abusers change and that's after some hard work on their part. Have you read any books? There was a great booklist posted the other day - and I can share with you which books I've read. Lemme know.


I know it's scary. I think you're going to do fine. You're doing so well at moving forward. I know you can do this.


Take it one day at a time. Baby steps. :)


Me

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 9:06am
From what you posted before, I don't think your husband will help you either way. If you let him come home, it will look to outsiders like you have help but you will be doing everything. If you don't let him come home, it will look to outsiders that you are doing everything alone, which you are either way. Some shelters have extended programs, where you can stay with your kids for even a few years til the housing comes through.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2003
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 4:53pm
I'd read all the previous posts for ideas. What I wouldn't do is let him come home. If he's showing signs of changing, fine, but who's to say he won't revert the minute he walks back through the door? Look at the statistics already posted - there's a 99% chance he will revert.
My ex pulled the apologetic act at one time, while we were separated. He never gave me a decent explanantion for his behaviour, though. And when I didn't bite, a week later it was back to the stalking and abusive phone messages.
If he's determined to change, really determined and really sorry he won't mind signing that 12 month lease. That gives 12 months for him to prove it.
I'm not surprised you're feeling overwhelmed, but letting him back in your home will most likely end up causing you more stress in the long run.
Rowena