so frustrated....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
so frustrated....
3
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 12:22pm

I am so frustrated. I have heard people say you choose partners that were/are like your parents. I swear my daughter's father and my mom are so similar. They both play the victim. They both do the most ridiculous things - I swear - to see my reaction. They both claim not to remember things. They both twist things around to their advantage. I am furious!

Two weeks ago my mom was going to babysit so I could take a class. Not surprisingly, she didn't show up on time and I could not take the class. I was mad about that and told her to just stay away from me. I am tired of thinking she can be responsible for my daughter when she can not.

She went behind my back and hooked up an acting audition for me that I do not want!!!! I did not ask for it in anyway, and I don't know what would possess her to do this. She has known this casting director my entire life. I do acting things but I never mentioned that I wanted any favors from her friend. Now she put my name out there, and he had to ask his friend - so it was like she pulled in this major favor that I did not want!!! And now because it is my name, I feel it would look worse for me to try to back out of it. I am going to have to go through with her ridiculous action.

I am so mad and frustrated. So mad. I have told both my daughter's dad and my mother to stay away from me. I told them to stay out of this house, and out of my life. It is a constant matter of me putting out their fires and I am so fed up. So fed up!

I am going to look for babysitters today so I am not looking to my mom for help anymore. Thank you for letting me vent!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
In reply to: sam_us
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 3:15pm

I'm sorry to hear what you are going thru lately. I hope that you find a babysitter so your mom will stop disappointing you. I hate that!

Oh.. I was wondering where you are now? Before you were at hotels and such, but are you back at the house now? How are you doing....?

I also know of 2 more songs that inspire. JoJo - Too Little, Too late and Evanesence - call me when you're sober. I think there is certain lyrics in both songs that really hit home for me.

Lauren

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
In reply to: sam_us
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 3:34pm

Thank you for the songs and input!!! I will download them today. I downloaded the ones from before, including the link that had a lot of good ones. I have a whole folder just for the songs that inspire....

I have been staying in the house and he has NOT been staying in the house. He was doing a great job of staying away until this morning when he came in and was feeding my daughter breakfast!!! He has a lot of money, I could care less where he stays. I am sure he has been sleeping sometimes outside in the van - which is ridiculous because there is no need to do that - but that is his decision and he is an adult and I am not going to help in find a place to stay!!

I read the book that was recommended a number of times on this board. He absolutely plays the victim sometimes, he also has qualities listed from the demanding man and from the water tourturer (spelling?? I don't have the book in front of me). There was another book listed in that book that I am going to order.

Anyway, thank you for your post. It is so nice to know there are people on your side and I can post here....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
In reply to: sam_us
Sun, 10-15-2006 - 7:47pm
The best thing you can do is maintain NO CONTACT with both of them. As you're finding, abusers will use any and all contact to jerk our chains; best to keep their opportunities as slim as possible.
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