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| Tue, 01-03-2006 - 12:49pm |
Wow. I haven't been here in a very, very long time. Life has a way of keeping you busy sometimes. For those of you who don't know me, I was a co-cl here once a very long time ago.
The new year always makes me reflect over my life, which in turn makes me thankful that I am where I am today. This board was so instrumental in that success. So a brief trip down memory lane and a quick update on my life today.
I've been out of my abusive marriage since May 31, 2003. Divorced since September 14, 2004. My marriage was one filled with emotional and psychological abuse, but not physical abuse. I did all the standard things we all do - made excuses for his behavior, was conditioned to believe I got what I deserved, etc. But sweetdreams (another past co-cl) and this board helped me become strong enough to stand up and fight back. And am I forever thankful for that!
My now 18yo daughter is in college and doing really well. She has healed amazingly well and is finally dating nice boys rather than copycats of her dad. She has a healthy relationship with a great guy, and I am so hopeful that she will stay on that path now that she has experienced the bad ones.
My now 11yo daughter is living with me fulltime, but sees her dad on alternate weekends. She's healing nicely as well, but still has the behaviors when she comes home from dad's house. We battle them regularly, but she is finally learning what it is to live in a healthy, safe, secure place.
We've moved to a new town, about 40 miles from my ex, which has been a great experience. Now he can't drop by and we don't run into him in town anymore. His influence over my life is finally over for good. I've also begun dating again - although not with the level of success I had hoped for. Took me 2 years to want to date, so I am enjoying it. Meeting nice guys who know how to treat a woman has been refreshing. And although I once said that I would NEVER marry again, I am starting to change that view. I would like to eventually marry again. (Okay, Tracy, no I told ya so's. lol)
I hope for everyone here that the support of this board helps you the way it helped me. Without this board, I don't know if I would be out and free and finally happy again. It's tough sometimes to be a single parent, but the fun we have together now and the healthy way we interact is so worth every second of hardship it took to get here. I wish for all of you the peace and calm and love that I now have in my life. No matter what anyone tells you, life is a thousand times better without the abuse, even if it means that you are alone for awhile. Being alone is much better than being abused.
I wish you all the best in escaping abuse and becoming whole and healthy again.
Peace and hugs to all,
Cheryl

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Life's pretty good.
CL-Blueliner4
My best friend is a Longhorn and I Love, Love, Love Longhorn Land (aka Austin)! I am there several times a year and want to move there when I can, but of course up here where I live OU is the name of the game..... ;)
Congratulations on the awesome new relationship, you deserve someone calm and sweet and nice, and how cool that you can share hockey with him, too!
It just goes to show that we had no idea how many wonderful things were waiting for us in the world once we put our heads down to the grindstone and blew up, and then past, the bars of abuse that were holding us down. I wish the same for every hurting woman on this board. There is so much weight on the soul when you live in an abusive situation. You never even realize just how heavy it truly was until you are out of it and have time to heal. Everyone here deserves to feel that *lightness of being* again, and to live their lives in a tranquil and joyful spirit, surrounded by the love and peace they deserve. :)
Hugest of Hugs!
Jeepster
Dang it. I replied to you twice and my reply still isn't showing up. No clue what's going on here. Hey, Blue! So glad to see you still here. It's been a long time since we chatted. Sounds like the roommate situation has finally gotten the best of you. And a hockey guy. You go, girl. Glad to hear that things are going so well for you, girl. I'm going to try not to be such a stranger, but you know how life is. I plan to drop in from time to time and see how things are going here. Glad to know all is going well for you. Talk to you soon.
Peace and hugs,
Cheryl
;)
We'll be in Phoenix over Memorial Day.
CL-Blueliner4
What a great pic, Blue. Hey, as it gets closer to your trip to Phoenix, remind me and maybe we can meet for coffee or something. I'm only about 1 1/2 hours out of Phoenix now. And the guy I'm dating lives down there, so it will give me an excuse to visit him, too!
Hey Cheryl,
I knew you would eventually get out into the dating scene! It's nice being treated like a human being isn't it? I'm happy for you!
Terry
Hey, Terry. So good to see you, hon. Hope your life is settled and going well now - and that your relationship with the kids has improved. I know mine has incredibly.
Yes, several people told me I would date again, but boy, it took me almost 2 years to be ready for it again. It does feel good to date again and to be around men who are able to treat women well. I did date a guy who talked a good game but was more like E than I originally thought. That breakup was a bit nasty, but I have good solid boundaries now. Funny to see the angles they take when they think you have ruined their lives - all by NOT doing what they think you're supposed to do. And it's interesting how you can spot those little things that are huge red flags. At least for me. I'm now seeing someone in a casual way that may turn into more. But I'm taking my time and not jumping into the serious too quickly.
Hope all is well with you, girl. I'd love to hear how things are for you now.
Peace and hugs,
Cheryl
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