Some good news for a change =)

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Some good news for a change =)
4
Mon, 10-03-2011 - 9:38pm

I am very happy to report that my son, Erick, made it though one of his trigger times with out a problem. Four times a year we can count on him having a meltdown/explosion. The one in September started when he started school but was mild at first up till last year when I called the police on him for the first time for hitting me and running away. I was really worried since the last one he had was in May and my oldest had to call on him because he wouldn't let me near a phone and had twisted my arm behind my back. I was really worried if he had another one it would be even worse but he didn't have one =).

Up till May his counselor and I tried the pretend its not happening and it will go away approach. We would see him building and tried to deal with it without him knowing and mentioning when he was acting out and forcing him to deal with it and his feelings about his father (September got worse when we left SC at the start of school and left his father behind and at least 2 of the other meltdown/explosions have to do with his father). He would not talk about his father at all. I changed that in May when I said we were now going to let him know when he was building and why and force him to deal with it. I told this to Erick and forced him to listen to me talk about things. And we made it threw his longer bad time of year without a problem. I am so proud of him!! I am also very glad that we made it though this one and hope we get though the one in January because he will be 16


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Registered: 01-04-2000
Tue, 10-04-2011 - 12:54am

Wow this has been a long road for you. I am glad to hear you are finally getting to the other side of that mountain.

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-06-2011 - 10:09pm

Thank you Kat. It has been a really long road and I bet its not over but at least we made it though this hurdle!! I was nerves because the last two have been so bad. I really hope we get though the next one with no problems. I want to get though all but for now I am concentrating on the next one for now. I m not sure about being on the other side of the mountain but the top is near!!

Over the summer he had a job and his boss wasn't the nicest of people, not sure if I posted about this but I am so proud of him and having a pity party for myself so need to brag on my son. Erick did not once come home and take it out on us when his boss yelled at him or treated him bad. He did not once threaten to not go to work. He was working though a program that puts at risk youth to work and he could have gone to them for another place to work but he didn't. He knew the location of this one was prefect, he could walk back and forth, and was worried they wouldn't have another spot for him so he dealt with it all better then some adults I know!! I told him the program needed to know what was going on and he told me he knew and would tell them at the end of the program. Another young man was put out there and he didn't wait to tell the program but they were OK with Erick staying and I was glad for that because I think it was very good for him to learn to deal with it. I had a hard time staying out of it but knew he needed to do this on his own and I am really proud of him!!

I wish I knew for sure what helped him get to this point but in the end it really doesn't matter. All that matters is I finally have hope for my son. I would never have given up on him and knew he could get past this but this is the first time I have real hope that he is not going to follow in his fathers footsteps. He he able to calm himself down when he gets worked up even the times I yell at him over it =)


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Avatar for cajunharmony
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Registered: 02-28-2001
Thu, 10-06-2011 - 10:47pm

Hey Brat, what a JOY it is to read this post from you.

Mama Harmony

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-06-2011 - 11:32pm

I am all about baby steps =) and he is making them. I even have hope of him graduating. Yes he is only in 10th grade but this is the first time I have not been worried he was going to drop out of school. Up till now he has acted like school was pointless and at one point said he was dropping out when he was 18, he thought he had to be 18 but knows better now. There is a trade type of school they can go to in 11th and 12th grade that he now wants to go to and he has a back up career in case his dream job doesn't work. He wants to be a professional wrestler on Monday Night Raw, yes he knows it is mostly fake but he can still get hurt, and the back up is an animal trainer which is what he is going to go to school for next year. I am happy he has a dream and support him in it even though I am bit a worried with his temper but he is getting better and still has a few years and hasn't even tried high school wrestling. But I am glad he has something a little more realistic picked out. But my dream job for him would be for him to work with at risk children like him to help them turn around. I think that would boost his confidence to help a child like him but it is his life and as long as he is happy and can support himself I will stand by him no matter what he does.

Have fun at the wedding!! Sounds like you will and I agree it sounds like you need it.

Thank you for the kind words I needed them today. I have been thinking way to much about all kinds of things and driving myself crazy. Today is the ex.'s birthday and I have no idea why I reacted to it the way I did but I have to write the date on my paperwork and kept writing 10-6-71 all day and it bugged me and thinking about him bugged me. But this is not the first time I have had to write the date several times on this day and it has never got to me before. But like I said I have a lot on my mind right now and maybe that has more to do with it? I also hate that this scum is still alive to get another year older but at least he spent his birthday in jail. And I know I need to let go of this but its hard but thankfully it only hits once in awhile and so hopefully one day it will just stop hitting and I will forget all about him.

I do remind Erick when he has a pity party for himself and thinks he is like his father that he also has a lot of me in him and has his sisters and me to beat the father stuff out of him =). My poor oldest when she looks at her baby pics she sees her father =(. I posted my favorite one of her on fb and she wasn't happy at first but I told her I saw a beautiful baby and would take it down if she wanted me too but she said it was ok.

I hate to hear that the shelter is full because I hate that abuse still happens but glad they got out and have a place to go. At first I was ashamed I had to go to one but going to one was a good thing for me. It gave me time to weigh my options and make the best choice for us, leaving South Carolina and getting far away from him.

Only complaint I have about Erick is I can't get him to go pick out new glasses!! He had his eyes retested a few months ago but only one eye had really changed so the insurance company would only pay for that lense and if we waited 2 months he could get new frames but now he won't go get the glasses!! I am going to have to take time off to do this and we live 5 minutes from the eye place and it isn't he won't go by himself by he says there is no point because he won't wear them. He has a point and I don't care if he wears them because he is the one that suffers but the school nurse is annoying over this so I want to make sure he has what he needs and its not my fault he isn't using them!! I bribed him with going into school late on Wednesday and breakfast with mom and no sisters if he goes so we will see if he goes by Tuesday.

Have fun =)


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