SOMEhow, he can still shock me ....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
SOMEhow, he can still shock me ....
4
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 4:18am

& NOT in a good way!


I cant possibly re-inact (not that you all WANT me to, lol!) the past few days. But basically, still no word from the GAL. I

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 11:40am

Ohhh, Lordy. Just keep thinking, this has got to be over eventually. He can't drag it out until he dies, and even if he tries, he has to do THAT sometime, LOL.

As to how he's coming up with these outrageous lies, I have a thought. People with little or no conscience are often gifted at coming up with stories, then convincing themselves that their own lies are true. So, at this point, he's probably got himself convinced that you DID break into his e-mail account, because to him, his mind cooked it up, therefore it must be true. This is probably also how his attorney is falling for this- he goes in there and is so convincing, because he honestly believes it. Some people can do this to the point where they'd pass a lie-detector test if asked about whatever it is they're lying about, b/c lie detectors test belief rather than actual factuality of the statement. Scary, huh?

But, keep plugging away, and you'll come to the end eventually. I wish I could come up with some better advice than that, but you're already doing everything I'd do. The lies will all catch up with him in the end.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2005
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 11:53pm

Amazing how the shock factor never wears off even when you're expecting it...... Sorry you are going through this right now. I can't say he is ever going to get it and I do feel sorry for your daughter to have to go through this. Just so you know, no matter what you do right now, she will see through this whole thing he is putting her through when she gets older. The best thing you can do right now is be supportive of a healthy relationship with you foremost, and her father secondly. I am divorcing from my second hellish relationship, at least this time with no kids. But, I do have to say, that through everything with my son's dad, I do understand where the manipulation factor comes in. He used to always tell me tha he was the superior parent, how he would not do things the way I was. Just believe me, you can give, your daughter will see that, and things will come full circle. If you raise her to know right from wrong, she will learn to understand what her father is doing, regardless of anything you say. I have never given a harsh word about my son's father, yet, his father has proven himself to be everything I ever could have said. My son would have never figured it out if I had protected him from it, kept him from it, he would have resented me for it. I don't know the circumstances with you, and I'm not saying anything you are doing is wrong. Sometimes, it just helps to know that what comes around, goes around. Whether you intend it or not, someday, he will meet his match, and in essence, your daughter will figure it out. Sad it has to happen this way, but, as you already know, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change this jack*** and his behavior, all you can do is change how you react to it. Be honest with your daughter, without cutting him down. She may not understand it at age 5, but, she will respect what she has heard if it is consistent until she is age, oh, I don't know however long you think it is important to treat others with respect, which I would figure would be forever.

Please hang in there. I wish there was more I could do, all I can say is you need to trust your instincts, children learn by example. Good luck to you, hope things are better tomorrow.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 5:43pm

This is nuts, Rebecca, and I really think any judge will see through the crap about you writing the emails & texts.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 7:29pm
Good idea if i need it. I can have someone maybe notarize the documentation of the texts, after viewing them on the phone. Hopefully it wont come to that. I just want to be so DONE i want to cry. (i am about to post now about it).

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