Something to ponder........
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|Fri, 03-28-2003 - 7:23am|
Something to ponder for all of us here,,
If you're under 40, you are the first generation of women who have these great new tech toys,, computers and cell phones. I see alot of women here that are in conflict with how their families, mothers and fathers, who tell us to stick it out,,it's how it's suppose to be,,etc. It's not been all that long, less than 20 years, only big the last 10 or so that we have had access to the world as we do today. Many families were long strings of abuse, as mine were. My father did his best to break the abuse he was exposed to, and he did well but it still came out now and then. But our grandmothers, our mothers, are still of the generations of women who had no access to anything outside of the grocery store. If you had a phone, it was a party line, so all knew what you were saying!LOL All religions pushed that families stay together no matter what. Many abusive households were never even acknowledged because there were no phones, no contact. It was a very male dominated world, still is in my view, and what the man said,,went. Mom didn't work outside the home, she stayed home with the kids, Dad made the money.
This has put alot of us in a weird place, torn between what our families have said, how to stay no matter what, and the new world where we can learn, we can share in boards like this. That we are the one's breaking new ground, learning that we can leave an abusive home and live happily with our children. We are the new Columbus' who are exploring new waters of life, redefining what is right and what is wrong. Law makers are finally recognizing abuse for what it is,,a dangerous, harmful way of life too long let run freely.
We each must take the time to learn, think and react to our own circumstances. There will be families not happy with what we're doing because we weren't brought up in their ways, ways they were many times forced to live. We do have a choice, we will make waves in the lives of others. But we don't have to swamp them with our wake, nor hinder ourselves by going too slow.
Learn, educate yourself. Know that your are worth the time and effort to change. Know that your children can be lifted out of abuse, and they can learn that abuse is not the way to go. It will not be easy, but it will be worthwhile! When a child is born, the child knows only to love. You can see it in their eyes, you can feel it in their touch.
It's only when a child is left exposed to abuse and hate do they change their outlook. They grow up what they were shown, as do we. We are the adult now, we must learn what is best for them. We must be strong enough to find our selfworth and dignity so that they too can find theirs.
Our families will see the difference once we are free to live again. It's always been interesting that the first thing most say once we are free is how much younger we look.
We can't live life trying to make our parents happy if it's hurting us. They may never understand because they know no different. No parent is perfect, not even us, so we have to learn to do better so that our children will raise their children hopefully in a safer world.
Hope this makes sense, and I pray that you all find happiness!!