Sooooo Tired
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| Tue, 03-01-2005 - 1:34pm |
It's so hard to remember everday that it's better being gone. I tell myself that it is. I know that it is. But how long before there's peace? You would think that someone who hit you and your child; someone who called you names and humiliated you; someone who used threats and intimidation on a a regular basis would want to get a divorce overwith quickly. You would think that they wouldn't want to have to face those things in a courtroom. At least that what I thought. I guess I was stupid. Just one last shot at tormenting us before it's over, I suppose that's the way he looks at it.
I wake up everyday with a renewed sense of purpose. I tell myself to be positive. But it's so hard. It can't last forever. Can it? The divorce process, I mean. But it's lasted for six months, and right now that seems like forever. We're not even close to settling things and I feel so powerless. I thought leaving would give me back my sense of empowerment. But boy am I tired.
Just venting.

The most important thing to remember is to be kind and gentle with yourself.
Hi, just read your post. I can feel your pain, really. This is the only place I trust to find help with our emotions that we are dealing with at the time. I just got off the phone with ex. Believe me they thrive from our pain. He is an addiction. I was married to this guy for 25 years and we are divorced in name only or what ever. I am living on temp spousal support. I have no finally paperwork that says anything. I don't trust lawyers and have a call in to my local shelter because I can't do this on my own. I truly believe that with the help from here and hopefully the shelter (because believe me I have gone through it all and here they understand). I hung up on him when he started in with the junk he has feed me all these years. I left him because of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and he still doesn't get it. Thank you for being here when I showed up and know that everyone here cares and we will get though this. Be safe and keep posting.
Luv, Sherry
(((HUGS))) Please be strong - you did the right thing, you knew it wouldn't be easy & its not. But it is ***SO*** worth it. Even thru the bad times now, i bet you & your dd's are living with a sense of peace on a daily basis - something you couldnt ever count on b4.
Hang in there, R~
Sherry, i bet 99.9% of them DONT get it. One hting i just remembered, my H would tell me i was a moron, he would call me a "Fat Fing C***", he woudl threaten to burn the house down with me in it, he made almost every day miserable w/ his moods & his little idiosyncracies .... yet i remember clear as a bell recently, i said something about his being abusive, & he said "Ooooooooh, you are SO abused. Beaten to a pulp, arent you?" He said that b/c he only thought abuse was hitting .... & it is so much more than that.
Hugs R~
Rich, do you, know we don't realize how much power we give to them. Power, what is power? We are who we are and we should be thankful we are here and this is our life, not some one's else. I can't believe this is me talking, see what I mean about having this place to come to and try and make since. I am always saying I am sorry, but not any more. I am sorry for the life I have been given and gave it to someone else. I am always tired, but sure wish I had someone here with me to go out and really appreciate what we have been given. One too many margaritas for me, but life is wonderful (and Kenny Cessney ). No one has the right to take it away for US. Take care and be safe,
Luv, Sherry