Soooooo confused!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
Soooooo confused!!
2
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 2:12pm
I just wanted to post a message to ask for help with my problem. I have been separated from my H for 2 months. We have been married for 5years and have a 4yr old son. In june he physiically abused me and has been verbally and emotionally doing it since the beginning. I pressed charges and got a Rest. Order and was positive i didn't want him back. the more and more time went by the more I would think of the good times we spent together and how happy we were when we wouldn't fight. About 2 weeks ago he called and we started talking and now he is petty sure that in a couple of months I will take him back. we've been out to eat, we've spent time with our son. I filed for divorce and he received the papers during this weekend.

I don't know what to do because as much as I try to convince myself that it is going to work I have a feeling that he is saying he's going to change but what if he doesn't? He's called and insulted my sister and my mom after we've been separated. This is another of his issues, his anger, he has no control over his mouth and the things he says. i am very scared to let him back in the house because if something else happens then I know it's going to be hard to start the process allover again. My babyu is taking it good. when we were together he was always irritable and responding back to me and when we are away from him he's a sweety pie, I confirmed this this weekend, when he's around him he spoiuls him so much that he even thinks he can talk back to me and i've told him not to do this and he says he will stop but sometimes i think he doesn't even know he's doing it.



I don't want my marriage to end but I don't know what to do. i've been to counseling by myself and yesterday we went to a church priest that is also a very good marriage counselor and he told us that the reason why we don't get along is because of his dominant character and how he wants to control and rule every action that's taken in our house. For the past 5years there has been many verbal, emotional, and now physical abuse but i know deep inside he's a good guy but he's promised many times before that he will change and a couple of weeks later it was the same thing. Now he says he has changed because it is the fisrt time he's been away from his family and that he doesn't want to lose us. Any suggestions, help? Can they really change? we have many issues that I don't know if he will be able to change. help!! I feel lost and confused because I love him but I also want to make the best choice for me and my son.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 3:16pm

Hi Gigi and welcome -


Well, you certainly have come to the right place.


First off, if there is a restraining order there is to be NO CONTACT AT ALL WITH HIM.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 3:31pm
Thank you for your response. I am just so overwhelmed about everything that's happened in the past two months and I just don't know what to do. I don't want to feel guilty later on to think that maybe he would have changed. I am a mess emotionally. thanks for all your help and answers.