Spinning out of control
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 08-09-2006 - 1:02pm |
I need help. Advice & support. My husband wants a divorce, but does not want to be the one to file or begin the process. He's miserable, is not afraid to tell me that he hates me, wishes I were dead and that the kids would be better off without me. I have never been unfaithful, I dont have an alcohol or drug problem, and I've never hurt our children. He's simply acting out of anger becuase he feels controlled or trapped. (we have been married just over 2 years and we had 2 babies 11 months apart) he has been forced to grow up and he's blaming it on me. He's always claimed to be a family man and has a huge family to support him but, I think he misses his waking up @ 11am and going to work, coming home spending hours on the internet, and being a leisure to go out whenever he wants. He's called me every name in the book and in front of our 5 year old. (she's mine from my first marriage) I'd trade in all my hurt to keep our family together becuase I know what divorce was like before and I'm terrified of it happening again. He, on the other hand just wants me to leave. He won't separate...or he won't leave the house I should say. And if I leave, and take the kids to my sisters or something...he says I've kidnapped them. I don't want to use them as weapons, I'm just trying to escape this hostile environment. He is emotionally, verbally abusive and my spirit is broken. We've gone to 2 sessions of marriage counseling, to which he's just numb and feeling not wrong in anything he does.
Should I start seeing a lawyer, what do I do about leaving the house? Is taking my kids to my sisters with me kidnapping? I'm so lost and afraid of making the wrong decision.
I feel this is abuse, but am I exaggerating?

These replies are so helpful, thank you. At a time of such vulnerability and confusion it's hard not to break down and surrender just being scared of things getting worse. I really am glad to have found this board and I'm really appreciative of the advice and support.
Thanks,
V
If you're spirit is broken, that's the number 1 sign of abuse.