Still Together Though Apart

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
Still Together Though Apart
2
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 11:31am
As I stated last week...me and my fiance are moving apart. I am moving out. This is by choice and also by an agreement. He feels that he seriously has a problem that he needs to fix and this will only be fixed if I am gone. Me and the kids abscence will allow him to appreciate what he had, and he will see what he has to do to get all of that back. Counseling, some serious anger management courses and then we'll see about getting your family back.

For those of you that didnt read my post - my fiance slapped me and threw me into a mirror and our screen door. It was the first time it ever happened and believe me, I wasn't afraid. I consider some of that my fault because I was also violent and had a temper, I cursed him out and punched a whole in the wall and broke his cell phone.

We finally talked about all of the events and have come to the conlusion that we do love each other and we want to stay together, but it's impossible. So I am moving out within 30 days. He still says he will be my man and I will always be his lady but in order for the relationship to work, we need time apart.

Anyone agree with this? I hear all this stuff about a man never ever changing once he has hit you, if he did it once he'll do it again...but I've seen people change. I beleive in my man, and I do stand by him and support him while he gets help. I am not going to make excuses for his actions nor am I going to do the same for mine. But I do believe in love and with sincere prayer and positive thinking and also actions....it can survive...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 1:02pm

Hi qpid -


The statistics show that even with targeted batterer's intervention therapy, less than 1% of abusers ever change, meaning stop abusing.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 7:59pm

Hi qpid…please know that these men with these abusive personalities do not know how to love, their definition of love is different from most people’s is.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

- Maya Angelou