Strange behavior during breakup...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2004
Strange behavior during breakup...
2
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 12:55pm
Maybe you guys can shed some light on my H's behavior as of late. It is really kind of disconcerting.

I told him a couple of weeks ago that we needed to separate and that I was going to be making preparations for doing that, which I have been. But his behavior since then has been very strange. He'll be sullen for a while, then he'll be all upbeat and nice and you would hardly know that there was anything going on. Then last night, it was really weird. About three weeks ago he got papers from a child support enforcement agency in another state for a kid he supposedly fathered right before we met. (Was a shock to me, but that's another issue.) Anyway, since our finances are still tied, I have been bugging him to call them and take care of it so they don't put a lien on the house or some other measure of enforcement. Three weeks, he has done nothing. Claims he calls this state agency every day and nobody is there. Whatever.

At any rate, before I get off track, I asked him again about it last night and he refused to talk about it at all. Was actually laughing and saying "I won't tell you" when I asked why he hasn't dealt with it. Was just acting totally inappropriate for a serious situation. Laughing and telling me to f-off and get this, kind of fluttered his fingers in front of my face with a grin. It made me feel kind of threatened, which is odd, because he wasn't really threatening me. His behavior was just so odd...

Any insight into what is going on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 1:10pm

He's trying to bait you.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Thu, 09-02-2004 - 6:23am
Hi mg,

One thing you need to start realizing is that you are not dealing with a normal human being. When Wendell and I split up, I initially tried to do things fair, what a joke. You have to realize, at no point in time will they be thinking about what is good for you and the children. It's all about them. It took me a long time to realize this. Even months later, when trying to file our income tax, my attorney and accountant wouldn't believe me when I tried to tell them that he won't be fair. The ironic part about it was that he would have faired much better financially had we filed joint. Even that didn't matter...it's was about getting at me. Even though it cost me a ton of money, it actually was a blessing. Now my attorney knows we are dealing with a vindictive idiot and is cutting him no slack whatsoever.

Just hang in there and make your own plans for your new life. Maybe you can call the bank and explain what is going on and they can give you some advice on how to protect yourself. Start saving as much $$$ as possible in case you will be unable to stop the lein against the house.

Good luck!

Terry