Stupid, Stupid, Stupid

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Stupid, Stupid, Stupid
3
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 4:08pm

He took my daughter to help him work and talked to her, went and bought her some clothes and then came home and begged and cried and begged and cried and said that he was working on fixing it with her. Before that, he had come to my work and gave me a letter and cried and begged there too. How come I let him make me feel bad enough to let him come back home? I feel like an idiot because this is not what I want. Am I wrong, because I have already made up my mind and closed off my feelings without giving him a chance to change? That is what he tells me, he says that he wants to be a family and that he loves all of us and he will do anything. I just feel bad about myself right now.

Tammie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 4:24pm

Now Tammie, stop that!

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2003
Sun, 06-26-2005 - 10:55pm

Tammie,

You've been with him long enough to know that if he's gonna change, he has had plenty of time to do it.

If you want to leave, do it.

If you don't, get used to the life you're leading and how you'll explain it to your kids when they're in therapy later in life.

You are focusing too much on his emotions and not enough on you!

Figure out which is best, and what keeps you from being a doormat, and what keeps your kids from having tortured childhoods - and DO IT.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2004
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 1:40am

Tammie,

Don't let him control you like that. Like the other girls are saying...he is trying to control. He had his chance and he pushed you past your limit. If he wants to go get help for himself...GREAT...let him go do that!!! I wish my ex would have but I would never go back to him...even if he "fixed" himself. Let him get himself help...by himself. You and your children are the most important and your children have a chance to see a normal existence...free of abuse....show them that. :o) You deserve it and so do they. Hang on and take care of you and your kids. I am doing the same...my kids are doing so well...I couldn't have imagined the difference that has already taken place...especially with my oldest. They are happy and not stressed out...It's wonderful!!! Hang in there sweetie!!

Kat