Success can be had

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2004
Success can be had
2
Sun, 04-16-2006 - 1:24pm

Hi ladies,

I haven't posted here in probably near a year now, but I had to come back and tell you all that I'm free and that it can be done. If I can do it, anyone can.

My ex abused me physically and emotionally for years. He lived in my home. Everyday I would come home to screaming, hitting, mind games, and the complete exhaustion of trying to be sane while keeping up a full time job, and dealing with a severely abusive and psychotic man.

My family took his side when I broke it off though they knew he was severely abusive. They phoned, emailed and threatened me that he was going to sue and take all I had so I should go back to him. For a while I had to cut contact because it was day and night harrasment from all of them.

In the end, here I am, happy and free. I made it. You can too. I just want to tell you a few things that you really need to digest to get out:

1. No matter what he says, he isn't different, sick, or needing you: These are all ploys, sick ways to manipulate you.
2. No matter what his childhood was like and who did what to him, he is still responsible for his actions and simply put: THEY CHOOSE TO ABUSE.
3. No matter what you say or do, there is nothing wrong enough with you that they can abuse you and it be right. There is nothing wrong with you and nothing you do/don't do will EVER change him.
4. He doesn't want to get better and his ridiculous whiny attempts for a week at a time are all part of the abusive cycle.

It is hard to get out, but the end result is worth the effort. And most importantly, ONCE YOU ARE OUT, DO NOT GO BACK. He will return over and over, and there's no way that he will change, period.

www.drjoecarver.com go to 'articles' then 'identifying losers in relationships.'
Prepare to get out. You have the power to change your life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Sun, 04-16-2006 - 11:53pm
GREAT post!!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 2:40am
*cheers* !!!
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