Taking the step
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| Sun, 09-17-2006 - 8:21am |
This morning, I'm blessed to be alive. Last night my husband of 7 Years returned home from work at 8:35pm in the same rage filled mood that he left with at 5:33am. Our 7 yr. old daughter,my 19 yr. old son, and I were all upstairs watching TV. He came upstairs and began to raise the same hell that he raised at 5:33 am. I locked the bedroom door once he left out in an effort to maintain some level of peace. My daughter was very upset. He returned and threatened to knock down the door. I opened the door and that's when all hell broke loose. He began choking me in front of my daughter. I was able to defend myself. He threatened to file charges since he sustained scratches and teeth marks. My daughter was frantic. It took all the strength that I had remaining to keep my son from attacking him. I have finally had enough.
My daughter just began her new school since we just purchased a home 3 months ago. I hope that we can stay with my parents. They have been fed up with this entire relationship. I know that getting out and staying out is the best thing for all of us. My head is filled with fear and confusion. My credit is shot, I make a good salary but all of my money has been tied into this home, his desires, and being the sole support for our daughter. I have no money to put down on an apartment or home. Please let me know your thoughts and experiences. I really need the support. I need to know that a good life can be found out of this disaster.

Hi... Welcome. You have came to the right place.
So I am guessing that you left your abuser last night correct?
That was the absolute right thing to do and I am proud of you. It is a very difficult step to make and you did it. Way to go. It is very difficult to make that first step, but more steps will soon follow.
I denied abuse with my X for our entire relationship. When you are in the middle of it, you don't realize how bad it is, until you get out.
You need to realize that this was the best thing to do for you and your children. That was very unhealthy for your daughter and son to see how your husband treated you.
You did the right thing. There was no other choice. You deserve so much better than the way he was treating you - no matter what he said. He might have said how you deserve to be treated like that - NOT TRUE. Nobody deserves to be abused.
Post as much as you like. You did the right thing. You can always call the Domestic Abuse hot line. Also, there is a lot of information on this website for you to check out:
http://cl-wishful78.tripod.com/RDAHomePage.cfm
It probably is a good idea for you to go check out the Domestic Abuse: New Beginnings board as well: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlmakeitstop/
I was in the same spot as you once. I know how difficult it is. I thought I made a mistake. I was very embarassed and ashamed. I didn't know how it could happen to me. But it did. I got stronger and I left him. It was the best decision I have ever made.
Lauren