Talking back does not work..

Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
Talking back does not work..
4
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 12:29pm

I dont know what got into me (perhaps it is the RO guy telling me to assert myself) or the neighbor telling me to stick it out, so I let go of my plans last month. To see if I can make a case by having him flip. But talking back leads to more yelling/verbal abuse on his part (didn't I know that already?)..not sure why I wanted to give him another chance or thought I can live by asserting myself.

Ok..I need your help in this..how do I stop having second thoughts when I am about to leave? Is it fears, is it thinking it is not bad enough (because things get normal..for a bit). What will it take? Everyone is upset with me for not leaving ..how to conquer the fears, guilt, blame game? do i journalize..how do I stop thinking of "comfort" zone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 2:08pm

Hi;

I believe that you are in a big time comfort zone and the depression.Coupled with that it makes it harder to leave. I know cause when I couldnt leave him I wanted to so bad.

So what I did was I had a friend physically come and get me and pack my things and take me to my next location.

After that I slowly and surely was upset and depressed for while but I hung in there and I lived in the moment of everyday and just dealt with the non comfort and did the best I could.

Its like not wanting to do it but do it anyway... Just do it like the NIke commerical.

After awhile the next place became my comfort zone because I was establishing my life and moving forward.

In a while it became easier and easier because I didnt have a control freak watching every move I made.

Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 12:51pm

thanks..i just replied to my other thread..but I think I am having a barrier getting out because of dd..I am afraid of racking up legal charges and getting into a situation that I can't take. It is almost like whether I shd stick it out 3 years..else would have left..but I think I am just afraid things will get worse in the next couple years..unless I can get my mind over that..I dont think this is gonna happen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 05-20-2011 - 12:24am

I found this out the hard way myself...

Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
Fri, 05-20-2011 - 11:18am

elizam - thanks for writing. So how did you finally get out? Did you go to shelter or have him thrown out? Or did you get your own place and leave?