Thanks to all of you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2004
Thanks to all of you!
3
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 12:44am
I have to thank all of you that wrote and helped me to affirm and move forward with dealing with all this. This board and the information on it has been invaluable and helped my family to learn so that the ones that agree with me can learn to and help me as well as help me to help my children with this.

Since I first wrote, not much more has happened other than my soon to be ex H is moving out by the 1st and I am told to watch out but I am looking forward to it and hope that he starts to distance himself instead of bother me more because he's loosing more control. I am preparing myself for the later though. My H has approached me about helping me to get a house for the kids and I from the proceeds from our current house. We can't stay in the current one due to finances but with his help I could afford another one with a lower mortgage payment. I am apprehensive about it. We are not making the divorce official until I get a job that holds health insurance. I have a health issue that I need his insurance for for just a little longer. So he wants to invest in a house with me but will have no access to it except in name only. Should I trust this or do you think that it would be another way for him to control my life. He would own this house for one year with me until I could buy it from him or have him quit claim it to me when the D goes through.

Do any of you think that it would work?? I am sceptical.

Thanks again!

katlc

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 6:30am
Katlc,

Your are moving on to a new life. Do it alone. Do not trust him AT ALL. An arrangement where he still has some sort of financial tie to you can only lead to no good. You will have enough to deal with regarding the children, leave it at that.

Terry

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 8:56am
Hugs katlc! Please listen to what newcam said, you are setting yourself up for such a disaster! Go to court, get the divorce. In the divorce have it manditory that he pay for the medical as part of the divorce.

Also, do not under any circumstance allow him to put his name on anything related to you!

What he is doing is getting you into a financial situation that he can control.

You will find that when you apply for the divorce, he will not care if you and the kids live in the street. He's setting you up big time in my opinion. If he's so caring, he'd have no problem signing the house over to you and keep you all on his insurance as well as child support and alimony.

But I see him playing this as a chess game and he's trying to get you into a corner he knows you cannot get out of.

Be careful, have solid legal help, don't try and do this on your own as he will play on your emotions.

Hugs

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 12:50pm

If his name is in any way related with the house, that is a tie that he will exploit.

CL-Blueliner4