they deny anything is happening so ....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
they deny anything is happening so ....
5
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 6:03pm
I cannot accuse him of something they say is not happening. I think I am imagining my gut is in overdrive and they deny it and they appear to be being honest.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 6:16pm
Trauma -

Something's happened, it may not have been sexual abuse in nature, but those girls are terrified of their father right now. Given what you've told us has been going on at home recently with his decidedly inappropriate behavior, I myself am very scared that something is going to get wildly out of control over there.

Please, talk to someone professionally. If not you, then the girls. You've said before the people you work with know something's not right. I don't want to see you end up with them taking care of you because of something he's done or something you've done to yourself to try and escape the situation.

I am thinking about you.

Gabby

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 6:21pm
Asking for a counselor's educated and professional view is not synonymous with "accusing" your husband of anything. Read your posts again, all 3 of them. Read the concern and confussion you express in each one of them.

If you're not sure exactly what you would say to a counselor, print out your 3 posts expressing your concern and let the counselor read them. Let THEM give you their experienced and educated opinion. Don't place the burden of making a judgement call on your shoulders alone. Ask for help. Ask for someone else's opinion. Someone who is trained in these kinds of situations.

If they think it's not an unhealthy situation then your mind will be put at ease. And if, in their professional opinion, your daughters are in need of intervention to prevent sexual abuse, then your mind will be put at ease that you took steps to help protect your daughters. You will feel strong, capable, and proud that you were able to help protect your daughters and they will no doubt thank you forever for taking action on behalf of their well-being.

Hugs, Joyce

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 6:47pm
Sweetheart, your daughters will not be alone at night, and they cry and throw fits at the thought of being alone in the house with him. Something BAD is going on that he has done to make them TERRIFIED of being alone with him. They are teaming up, staying close to each other, to protect each other from him. I don't know why they won't tell you. Probably because he has threatened them. And if there's a history of him being mean to them and no one being able to stop him, they might think that if they tell you, you won't do anything to help them anyway, and it would make their situation worse for them. Just something to think about.
Avatar for piazza31
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 7:16pm
listen to your gut feelings honey! hugs!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 7:24pm
I only have one question. Didn't he punch one of your daughters in the head? I recall you posting that before. If so, I'm not sure what you're waiting for or why you're questioning anything. I pray for you to have the courage to do what's right.

Kathy