Thinking of going back

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
Thinking of going back
1
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 4:54pm
I have lurked here on and off since I finally left my H in January. He seems to have changed. He is going to all his classes and really working on his temper. I have my own place and we are slowly and I mean VERY slowly seeing where things will go. We have two dd 5 and 7 who miss their daddy so much. I will never forget what he did to me, but part of me thinks he can change. I am now pg by a man I was seeing after the split and H is willing to try to accept it, since FOB wants nothing to do with her. I don't plan on making any drastic change at least till after the baby is born to see how it is going to effect him. I did file for divorce 6/15 and he was served on Monday. He hasen't told me if he wants the divorce to go through or what . What happens after he gets served? We have gotten along really well in the last 2-3 months. I am really confused now though. Am I making a terrible mistake by even thinking this. I know only 1% change, so could he be that 1%? Any thoughts???

Christina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 7:40pm
Hugs Christina! Please don't allow yourself to be sucked back in by him, it's a tactic, it's a ploy to confuse you and to trick you to come back. It's more commonly called the Honeymoon Period, he's showing you how sicky sweet and caring he can be, but it's all BS.

Talk to a counselor, talk to us, talk to who you need to, to regain your strength and hold your path.

It won't work, it will only be worse. I'm sure he's messing with the girls, having them be his little tape recorder, to get you to go back. They are too young to understand what their daddy has done to you. Many women here have had the same happen, listen to them, hear them tell their story how it only lasts a short while and then goes back to the same old abuse if not worse abuse, all in an attempt to pull you back down.

He will not take the divorce papers well. He will probably promise you the world and all the stars around us, but he will give you nothing but hurt. It will take dedication from him to a lifetime of abuse counseling, not just 6 months or so. He will tell you anything in hopes that he can get you back. The more you talk to him, the more he will work on your mind, work on your self-esteem and make sure that once he has you, he will hurt you.

Be strong girley, don't give in. It's hard, even harder being pregnant, but you will be better off without him, you just can't see that the closer you get to him.