Tired of It

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2005
Tired of It
17
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 11:39am
Hi...new here. Call me Elle. Have posted on some of the boards and just found this one. I need advice. I am sick and tired of my boyfriends attitude. One minute he is nice and loving and the next he is blowing up at me. Case in point. Friday I left work early ( we own a business ) and was going to do some ME TIME. Well he called and told me to get my ass back to the office and figure out what happened to his last motorbike payment. He said they just called and said that it was not paid in June. I knew I paid it in July and Aug, so I thought WTH? So he startes yelling at me on the phone telling me that if his credit is bad he is gonna take it out of my ass and this and that. I tryed to remain calm ( a tactic I have found shortens the lenght of what I have to hear) Everytime I opened my mouth to try and tell him I had taken care of it, he told me to shut up and started talking again. Then I hung up and he called back and ask if I want pizza for dinner? How can someone go from one extreme to another like that? I think he is bipolar or something. I mean I am moody when I am on my period, but this is crazy. I am constantly feeling like I am walking on eggshells and all weekend I was waiting on him to start about the payment again. When he throws these tantrums as I call them, I hate him....I mean it angers me so much that he won't listen to me. It is eating me up inside. I am at work this morning, and talked to him twice on the phone. He has been nice. but I never know when the other shoe is gonna drop. Does anyone here know what I am talking about? I could use some comfort from someone who understands my situation.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2005
In reply to: dba2005
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 3:59pm
I am cracking up!! Yes, we could surely write a book. Hey if Save Karyn was a bestseller, then we could do it! Did you ever read that? The girl that put up a website for people to pay her credit bills off? Well anyway...you are lucky, you didnt live with him. See I do. I have painted myself into a corner, and when I think of getting out, he makes me feel bad. Like him saying about redoing the house or talking about the future...geez, I am so messed up right now emotionally.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
In reply to: dba2005
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 4:17pm

OMG I had forgotten about the Save Karyn website.

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
In reply to: dba2005
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 10:11pm

Hard to believe but I have been with him since I was eighteen -- twenty-four years ago.

Mine owns his own business as well. He is always gone, or up all night in his garage.

I know what you mean though. He will be like, "oh baby do you look good!" But he can't get it up most of the time (sorry if it is too graphic). I too have just taken the matter into my own hands. It helps, but it just isn't the same. Sigh. I sometimes fantasize he has found someone else, but he has it too good here to leave. WHAT? Leave and support myself and a girlfriend. And though he was young and cute when I first ended up with him, he is far from young and cute now.

He is also at least fifty pounds overweight and has bad teeth. If I wasn't scared of what he would do if I tried to make him leave I could be free. I don't work for him and make a good income -- better than his actually. Everything is in my name and I never married the bozo.

It must be hard working for him. You know if you left you would be out of a job and wouldn't get a good reference. That sucks. I hope you have prior experience you could use should you get up the courage to leave.

I hate how he is and I hate that he is in my life. My hope is by posting and reading here I will get up the courage to make him go. Hopefully you will be able to do the same.

GT It Can't Be Me

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2005
In reply to: dba2005
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 11:13pm

Hind-sight is 20/20. My fights used to start with simple stuff, and evolved.
I know how you feel when you just want to get the conversation over with.
However, "Yes, you are right" or "I'll take care of it" does not solve problems.

It sounds like he is finding faults in all financial matters. Does he do this with anything except money? Even if he doesn't find other faults, the fact that he will speak to you that way does not sound like an ideal guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2005
In reply to: dba2005
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 11:53am
Hi!! I totally have that book!!! I have read bits of it. A lot of it doesn't ring any bells with me, but some does. So I am reading that part. Trust me, I have all the self help books. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2005
In reply to: dba2005
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 12:01pm
Hi Lil2red - yes, the other night when I called him he said the house looked good when he came home. Well then the next day I guess his mood changed. He started griping about the sink. It has leaked since I moved in and you have to turn it a certian way to keep from hearing the drip. I have asked him repeatedly to fix it but he never has time! Ok, well he told me the way I turned it caused it to backsplash and hit the backboard and cause it to rot!! Ok, well that is not true. I always wipe that part down. Then he complained about a spot on the glass...I have been handwashing since he seemed not to be happy with the spots from the dishwasher ( see I am trying to make him happy ) well, I told him it was probaly from where he spit in it!! Yes, he has a bad habit of coughing up pleghm ( I know that is DISGUSTING ) and he will be laying on the sofa and reach for a water glass and spit in it!!! I told him I was gonna start throwing them away!! Well then when I said that, he said well this drain board is all nasty, and what the hell is on it? I admit, it had some grunge on it, but I was gonna wash it off. Anyway...that is just a sample of what I deal with.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2005
In reply to: dba2005
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 12:08pm

Is he your age? I know what you mean about teeth. I am a teeth person and if you got bad teeth forget about it! LOL

Yes, I work for him and live in his home and have hold on anything legally. I do have a good work history and if I left, I would like to believe he would give me a good reference. He is not that much of an a-hole ( hey it wouldn't let me post the dirty word..wow!! ) I can always work it out to get the reference from his Dad anyway, so I am not worried about that at all.

Yes, nothing can take the place of real intimacy, but you do what you have to. Shoot, I get weekly massages just for the human touch. That is how sad I am ...lol

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