Tired of marraige

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Tired of marraige
4
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 5:57pm

Hi all,
As of today, I feel sorry to myself that I do not love my husband anymore.
We have been married for 2.5 years, have a daughter of 6 months.

He keeps yelling at me for silly things. And we have been having arguments
that are extremely energy and soul draining. He did not physically abuse me,
but is very close, he has dragged me, tried to slap me several times, held
me tightly so I could hardly breath, pulled at my shirt.
He also threatened to divore me several times, threatened to drag me to
court, prove that I am somehow mentally ill and take away my baby from me.
Nowadays he says he wants to have sex with other people.

I cannot desribe his furious anger when he yells at me. He is always ready
to pounce on me and argue and yell.He does not sleep in our bed. He always has
a excuse to sleep on the couch - that he has gas or that he will move and
disturb me or that the bed is too soft. He does not like to work out any
alternatives either.

The other day, I kissed him and he said he likes more of those. So, I took
the oppurtunity to again say that , he will get more kisses if he sleeps
in our bed. For that he screamed and yelled that I am a emotional blackmailer.
That I am forcing him to sleep in the bed with me.

On other occasion, he wanted to have sex without brushing his teeth. I told him
that we need to brush, but he did not care. and I hated the fould mouth smell while he was talking - I told him it smells bad. He brushed with anger and after that he could
not perform , and he blamed me that I am the reason he is not able to do what he wants.

He does not care if I am holding the baby or not, he just yells and yells and does not
let me go away, I move into another room, he follows me, closes the door behind me and
stands at the door so I dont leave and then yells at me. When I loak the door , he forces
it open with a pin I think, I dont know how, he still gets in and yells...

I am going razy with his insane behaviour that I have lost love for him. I hate to have
sex and we havent been having any since a few months. Fortunately he has not forced me,
because once he tried , I told him, I will call 911.

PLease help. I am extremely tired mentally and hate to continue to be yelled at. We are
going to counselling, it is not helping - it is once every 3 weeks or so, and he does not
seem to care for what the counsellor tells him. We dont talk about the sessions at all
as I am afraid of bringing on more yelling sessions onto myself..

I am with him for the sake of my 6 month daughter. But he has yelled at her too,
a few times, when she was crying .He has asked the 3 month baby to SHUT UP Or , he
would yell at her "STOP IT" he even threatens her " I will give you 2 weeks to settle,
after that I will not sleep here"

Please advise on what you would do to keep my peace and my daughters peace. he is
almost insane and he wont listen to anything at all...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 9:02pm

Welcome hppy_face.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2005
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 9:59pm
He is not only mentally, verbally and emotionally abusive, but physically abusive as well. Lucky for you, he did not succeed in forcing you to have sex against your will. I believe you should leave him; the sooner the better. It sounds like not only he is abusive, but incredibly immature as well. He wants what he wants when he wants it. Don't stay with him - you will only end up feeling more and more used and unhappy. It will get to a breaking point. It won't change. Trust me, better to leave him now while you still have all your precious resources (patience, some joy, sanity), then to leave after you feel he has drained every one of those things away from you. I wish you the best of luck in doing this. Good luck.
And screaming at your baby, how infantile is that? He needs help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 10:52am
Hon, the best thing you can do to "keep the peace" for you and your daughter is to get away from him. Reasonable people do not yell at 6 mo. old babies- what's the baby supposed to do about it, anyways? Check out our board website for tips on how best to get away, and keep reading and posting.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 6:43pm


Thanks everyone for the understanging replies. It helps to know
someone cares.

Thanks
Spea