tomorrow's the day

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
tomorrow's the day
4
Wed, 06-29-2005 - 11:09pm
Hi,
I've visited this board several times over the last 8 months....it is what helped me finally 'see the light'. Tomorrow I will file for legal separation from my verbally,emotially alcoholic husband. I told him 'get help or I'll divorce you"..he will move out and live in an apartment while he is getting help and counseling...he's been pretty submissive and agreeable about it all. I feel myself wavering sometimes...he says he wants me to give him a month before I file, or have a 'trial separation...nothing legal yet'...ect. Sometimes I even feel sorry for the guy...we've been married for 14 years and together for 17 years (3 kids). He wanted 50/50 placement of the kids but I absolutely will not allow that until he gets healthy....he said okay to this...I'll live in the family home, he'll pay child support. Does anyone have any suggestions for my meeting with the attorney tomorrow? Thanks to all
Apk
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2003
Wed, 06-29-2005 - 11:20pm

Stick by your guns and ask for what you want.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 6:41am
We have some links on our board website regarding your legalities and divorce concerns.
5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 3:57pm
If he wants a reprieve and "nothing legal," he has an agenda. You're smart to go ahead and file anyway. Best of luck and keep us posted.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 11:27pm
Thanks to everyone!
I filed legal separation today and it feels like the weight has been lifted off my shoulders. He went for his first counseling session today...I'm sure he charmed his way through that as he does everything else. He still believes his verbal and emotional abuse was triggered by me....I did or said something to cause his reaction (he agreed his reactions were poor, but still triggered by me). I don't think ANYONE deserves to be called a cxxt, stupid moron, and bitch in front of her three children. I don't think he'll ever get it....do they ever change? How long does it take? At this point I don't have high hopes for change on his part. I just want him out of this house....the sight of him repulses me. Then he has the balls to ask me if we're still going to have sex when we live apart!!!! He hasn't drank alcohol in four days...yahoo...but I've been through this 'transformation' before too. EEEEKKK....he just DOESN'T GET IT!!!!! Thanks for letting me vent.
A