too much thinking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2005
too much thinking.
1
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 4:39pm
I am having a really hard time dealing with the whole DV issue in our marriage. It seems as though I go through a lot of self-doubt and wonder if I myself have caused this. My self-steem is so low, I don't know who the heck I am anymore. I used to be able to stand up for myself but now I don't know how. When we have a problem he starts twisting things around/changes the subject and jumps all over something I've done. Or tells me to shut the hell up. Makes me feel like I am crazy and incompeteant and then I just shut up and escape to my room. I have developed anxiety realted disorders. I have read the signs of abuse, and the physical/emotional abuse signs are there. However I just feel sometimes like maybe I am making a big deal out of nothing. He had an affair 10 years ago. I have been married 17 yrs, with 2 kids. He denies or says that I am making it up that he has ever touched me. He never ever apologized for anything he did to me. It is something that if I ever even mention the DV he acts like I am hurting him or "how dare I, after he has supported me for X years, and then I am walking on eggshells. I don't get it. I never thought that someone could say that they love you and be so sweet at times could turn around and hurt that same person without any remorse. I don't get it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 5:31pm

Hi Westie -


Everything you're describing is perfectly normal and fairly common at that.

CL-Blueliner4