Totally unexpected reaction to seeing
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| Sat, 03-05-2005 - 4:06pm |
STBX today. Keep in mind, we live in a SMALL seadside town, i cant BELIEVE i havent run into him b4 today. I was totally dreading seeing him in court on Monday.
So, today i took a right, & he was sitting in the next lane, waiting to pull out. He didnt see me at all ... he was looking strait ahead, but i had a totally clear close up view - for a few seconds. It was the WEIRDEST feeling. I mean, here this is my HUSBAND ... & i havent seen or spoken to him in more than a month ... nor has dd, who was in the back seat & i was SO afraid she would see his truck & yell for him & all our car windows, & his were wide open ... he was just sitting there looking ahead, & i though to myself "What is he thinking? Is he thinking of us?"
DD didnt see him, but i had such a weird, sad feeling seeing him. Without even realizing it, tears started pouring down my face. Not b/c i feel i am doing the wrong thing, not b/c i want him back, not b/c i am changing my mind or ever will, but just b/c its so SAD. The whole mess is just so sad. Life can be so sad. So NOT what you thought it was going to be.
But, at least i got that 1st view of him today, instead of during the stress of court on Monday, & maybe it wont be SO emotional then.
R~


Rich,
Hope you are feeling better today. It is Sunday, 8:07 AM (Az). I started by reading your post about all of your experiences with the men in your life up until now. You should write a book. You write well and with what you wrote I am sure all of us here would buy it as a self help book to add to our library on SURVIVAL AND GETTING BETTER. Hope you have a wonderful day and be safe and love to you and your little one.
Luv, Sherry