trapped and nowhere to go.......
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 04-01-2005 - 12:08pm |
well, a little update on me and my situation. hmm lets see i had been dating this guy P for a while now since november or 2004 and he was the perfect guy for me, or so i thought. boy was i wrong. i just seem to go from bad to worse and back again and no way to break the cycle. P was the kindest most gentle person i have ever known and he made me so happy. he made my heart skip a beat when he would call or when i would see him and it wouldnt stop until we parted or got off the phone. i have never smiled or laughed so much in my life and thats what makes me so angry cause i wonder what i did wrong to make him do these horrible things to me. first off, he told me he had a set of twins named K and K, well shortly after i met him i had never worked with him at all and then all a sudden we worked together all the time and i mean all the time. he was in my every thought. he wrote me a letter saying he would like to get to know me more cause he thought i was cute and nice and interesting.well, lets see, he told me a week after i met him that one of his girls was in the hospital from a fire and she was in critical condition so i naturally did what anybody else would do I went out and cashed my paycheck and bought both girls care bears to help bring their spirits up and it worked immensely i was told. well, that was a lie he never had any children and he was never planning to get a divorce from his wife and i was though. i was and still am totally ready for this night mare to be over. he lied about everything. iw ould cut myself cause of the stress and stuff and he would call me and say that he couldnt come over cause he ahd to work at hte hospital which was also a lie and needless to say he lied about EVERYTHING. we went out looking for a house and me a brand new car we signed the paperwork and everyhting for that car and then all of a sudden he was geting fidgity about he issue when i would ask him when i was goignt o get it and it made me mad cause he promised that he wouldnt let me down cause my car was and is on its last legs as we speak . well time passsed and i still didnt get my car and we went at four thirty in the mornign to UofM hospital to sign some papers for his daughter and were tol we could not see her and so we left and then the next night we went out there again and were tolf we couldnt see her again so i started questioning him about it and he was like "you know how docs are" and i said "yeah i guess you're right" well time passed and i foudn out that i had cancer and he promised to pay for my treatment nad didnt. he also promised to get me mental health treatment and didnt do that either. he kept on telling me you have to wait a little longer can you do that and i told him that it wasnt a problem with waiting it was just my ,mind was not where it was supposed to be. i was asked by him if i seriously wanted a relationship with him and if i wanted to become a mother to two twin girls that were two and i told him that i could ahndle anything with the right support. so we talked about it more and we decided that when his and my divorce was final we would get married and i would adopt his kids. well, the whole time we were seeing eachother i was being contacted by people frm his work and family and htey were saying whta a great guy he was and htey were even talking about P's and my sex life and i kept on asking "he just comes out and tells you what i do with him or you guys TIGHT like that(as in gay) and they all said no he just tells us cause were a family. and i said ok whatever. well his sis and his wife were contacting me to talk through YIM and emails and i thought his wife was being really really nice i mean way too nice for me being the other woman and all.. well nothing he told me was real and he lied about the kids and where he was and he used alternate YAHOO ID's to try and sway me to think he was this really nice fethching guy and nothing was real. and that is what im having sucha hard time with. i mean when i thought he was missing i freaked and turns out iw as talking to him at that point the whole time when he was talking to his sis or dad. i mean this guy was good. normally i can smell a rat but with him he even had my family convinced he was damn near perfect and that hurts . i went tot hte hospital for attempted suicide becuase of this guy and all the stress he brought to my life. i thought he had lsot his daughter i thought he was nearly dead so many times it wasnt even funny.
so, to make a long story short, he has been in prison for two years before i met hima dn hes addicted to vicodin and he brought me so much pain and suffering thati have permanent scars on my arms and legs becuase of the hell i went through just to be with him occasionally. he is now currently in jail and will be for a while and he keeps on calling me and writing me letters and i dont know how to make him understand that i am so much better without him in my life. when he calls ui cry for days cause i lvoe him so much. even though all this happened i would still take him back in a half heartbeat. what should i do.?
sorry this is so long.

Hi bunny -
The best thing right now is to cut all contact with him.
CL-Blueliner4
The question you have to ask yourself is how many chances are you wanting to give him?
R~
The best support you can rely on is here and the closest shelter where you live. Between the two has helped me to get where I am 35 years later. Once you give it a name, Domestic Abuse, you will not let it go. Patricia Evan's book,
"The Verbally Abusive Relations," opened my eyes after many self-help books. You are not alone and I wish I had this support long ago. We are here, we care. Be safe and take care of yourself and have a wonderful day.
Luv, Sherry