Trying to leave...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2002
Trying to leave...
Thu, 06-02-2011 - 10:33am

I have been married for almost 17 years. Everybody told me not to do it but I did it anyway.

I am working on getting out of here. I have an app for an income based apartment in the town where my oldest goes to high school at. I did fill out an app for state aide but even after I called dhs no one ever returned my call (big surprise there).

I have friends who are willing to let me bring all of my boxes of crap over to their place to store while I get settled knowing that it might be a while but that I will still sort through stuff and have a garage sale and get rid of hopefully lots of it. I am registered for classes to begin this fall. I am going back to get my RN. I've been an LPN way too long.

My nightmare did get put on Celexa but it got to where 20mg didn't work anymore and they increased him to 40mg but I don't think that's really doing anything for him either. It's all so frustrating.

In the past few months he gd'd and fu'd my oldest as well as call her a lazy worthless piece of **** and a pansy a**ed p****. That's it I'm done. The only thing is I really truely haven't done much to get the stuff out of my house. I am thinking that maybe the best place to start would be in my garage. When I get to taking stuff out all he is going to think is that the house is really getting cleaned. I don't think he has any kind of clue as to what I am really hoping happens soon.

Is there anything that I am forgetting? I am currently unemployed and have been for 2 years and even though I have applied for jobs I guess you know where that has gotten me. LOL!!!

Thanks for the help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2011
Thu, 06-02-2011 - 12:52pm

I don't know your situation or how bad he is, but PLEASE make sure you take copies of the financial stuff. This includes paychecks, tax returns, account numbers for bank accounts, house mortgage, etc.

My stbx locked me out of our house and I had to go to court to get back in. I was in the process of getting that stuff, but waited too long. I applaud you for being so strong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2002
Thu, 06-02-2011 - 1:33pm
I don't want the house or really anything to do with it because his family lives across the street. I just want out of here. I hate it. I'll worry about money after I'm gone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 06-02-2011 - 3:03pm


Please dont just leave without consulting a good lawyer. I know how hard it is to want out. I have been where you are but check out laws in your State. If you just leave there could be legal issues involved pertaining to financial and income and child care and support. You might not want anything now but down the road you will need these things..

When I left my abusive ex I had an abandonment issue hanging over my head and if I didnt go to a lawyer I would have lost my marital assets..I dont regret finding out about the legal issues because I received a nice settlement and it helped me in the long run due to financial crisis these days. I also have been looking for work and nothing comes up but I got some of my ex'es pension and a good chunk of equity in the house we lived in together.

If you are being abused then call or go to your local domestic violence center and see if they have any advice or answers for you in regards to housing or legal services or counseling.

Keep us Posted

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Fri, 06-03-2011 - 12:57am

NO matter how badly you want to get out, you need to be practical.