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|Tue, 05-17-2011 - 11:11am|
I wanted to post an update and get a few things off my chest. Well, I believe that I am getting stronger. I have finally hit the "anger" stage in this grief process. It is unreal how angry I am. I am not mad and yelling, in fact, you wouldn't know if I didn't tell you. It is on the inside and comes out during therapy.
I believe I have also accepted the fact that he isn't going to understand what he has done to me. This was proven again when he told me that he wanted us to go to therapy to work on our issues and then if he needed to go on his own he would. I didn't even bother trying to tell him what he has put me through. He went from mean and condeming to sad and hurt (why are you doing this?).
The anger comes from just being tired of this whole thing. I finally realize what he did and now he wants to change? I don't think so. He has the idea that it is never too late, but he hasn't even admitted what the problems were. He thinks the problems are ours together. But, I wasn't the jealous, controlling, manipulative, silent treatment giving person. I did everything I could to keep the peace including losing myself.