Update on 1st divorce court
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| Tue, 02-22-2005 - 12:37pm |
I went to the first divorce court today and am still wondering what happened. Here is a break down of the events:
The judge asked the lawyers separately if the clients would be willing to mediate to end this quickly. Mine said yes, with neither party getting support from the other and with the child custody being held as a separate case from the divorce. His said absolutely not because they want spousal support for him.
The judge explained to Dip (a new nickname for him) that he was a healthy 35 year old and can get employment and should not be entitled to spousal support. He yelled at the judge 'well then find me a job in austria'. The judge told him that the court was not responsible for finding him a job.
The judge questioned me extensively and pretty much established the same story that was told for the restraining order.
Dip said at the end of the court that he will be employed at my work starting March and that he wanted the restraining order reworded to allow him to work there. He also said he will be filing for spousal support, that he doesn't have work, and that he is and will be living in Austria, but is and will be living in poland, but is and will have to return to the US if the judge doesn't find him work. Does any of that make sense? Don't worry if you don't get it, neither did I. Of course, all of these statements were made at different moments but all were still made.
The worst thing was that he somehow got the government to provide support to cover the cost of the court and the cost of the translator. After all was over, I found out that I am the one providing this 'government' support as I am paying then his and my cost for the translator, and his and my cost for the court. How is that for fair? The lawyer tried to make me feel better by saying I would recover it when the settlement was made.
The lawyer asked if I was willing to agree to a 50%/50% fault divorce in order to get it over quickly (assuming he gives up on the spousal support). What does anyone else think of that? She said it would not affect the custody or later decisions that I am claiming I did anything to cause this divorce. Do you think that is true? Or am I at risk of something being thrown in my face, saying I ADMITTED that I did anything wrong? He claims I abused him by spending all of his money, refusing to support him when he was feeling angry, and being generally out of line this last year. This means in real language that I prevented him from putting all of the money in his private account by forcing him to pay bills, refused to stand still when he lashed out at me, and was not playing the part of his servant like a good girl. By the way, I am still trying to track down the missing money; I hope I find something....
