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| Wed, 06-08-2005 - 12:32pm |
Well we spent last night in a hotel (a smelly hotel, luckily I brought my Febreeze, you spend $60 and you would think that it would at least be decent)my daughter thought that we were on an in town vacation. She got to go swimming and eat McDonalds. She had a blast excfept she kept waking up in the middle of th night crying.
I made the mistake of calling my H to tell him that we were alright (why? I have no idea). He was short with me and told me that he was not at the house because we were not there. and was asking me why I was calling him. Telling me that I am not willing to give him just two things that he is asking for and that I am just playing games. Stupid me i made the mistake of not blocking the number and he called the hotel back about 2 hours later (about 10:45) and as far as I could tell it was just to yell and cuss at me. He can't seem to comprehend that I do not feel safe around him and that just his assurance that it will never happen again (which I still haven't got) is not enough. He is looking at me telling him that he needs to get help or I am not going to be there as an ultimatium and maybe it is.
Thank for all the great information especially about the hotel rooms I called a couple of places and found a room for $42 tonight with an indoor pool for the baby and a spa (maybe I will take advantage of that. It will probably be another night of wasted money cause he will stay away again and the house that I am paying for will sit empty. I was going to go back there tonight and just see if he shows up but I don't want to take that chance.
I have read stories about abuse women and I am still having a problem seeing yself as one. I did not have a back eyes or anything broken. This was the first time of physical violence to me. I think about the women in the shelter and I think that they need to be there more that I do. Most of them have been putting up with this for many years and it has escaluated to the point where they fear for their lives. I don't fear for my life... yet?!. My family still dosen't know and I would rather keep it that way. Pride is a horrilbe thing sometimes. If I cannot get a commitment for him to leave tonight I don't know where I will be sleeping thursday.
Thanks again
BTW: my dauhgter is not his biological child (even though she is the only father that she knows) so there would be no custody stuff.

I'm starting to get real concerned about you hun.
I understand that there has been only one incident of physical violence toward you, but that is enough where I live to get a domestic violence restraining order. The Court can issue one and have it served on him the same day, and it can require him to vacate the family residence pending the hearing. He is refusing to stay away from the house if ou are there and refusing to stay there if you are not. This is stupid on his part and emotionally abusive to you. I would suggest contacting your local shelter about getting such a RO. It will get him out of the house and keep him away.
LAF
He just called me at work and was asking me where I was staying I told him that I didn't know yet and he said that he would just stay where he did last night. But then by the end of the conversation I asked him if I should find somewhere else to stay and he said "yea u might as well go waste money and then he said that I should find somewhere else to stay. I don't know what to do know. I need to save my money and if he is not going to be there then we should. I just don't want him to change his mind and come home.He wasn't angry when he called but he was still making it seem like I am making a big deal out of nothing. that I a making him out to be a monster.
I said that my DD wantd to talk to her dad and he said "Dad, yea right" "i don't know what to do with that situation". I took that to mean that he dose not want to have anything to do with her. he has raised he with me from birth. Jack*&#.
I told him that yea it was but first time but what happens next time and what if DD sees something.
Do you think I should just go ahead and stay at the hotel tonight or take my chances that he will not be there. He is not expecting me to be there and if were not there then I don't think he would show up. i was thinking baout keeping a bag packed and in the car just in case we have to make a fast get-away.
Hon, just checking in to see how things are going.
CL-Blueliner4
On the locks/alarm note:
Also see about getting locks for your windows, or sticks, something to keep someone from getting the windows open.
CL-Blueliner4
Re: those door alarms: if they'r ethe stick-on ones, make sure you place them right the first time. If you have to rip 'em off a time or two, replace the double-sided tape.
The night I installed mine, the alarm parts fell off a door and a window. So I'm dashing through the house in the dark, fishing the alarms off the floor and out of the sink, shutting them off.... No trouble since, except for forgetting to set them to chime before I go out in the morning.