update

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
update
4
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 6:12am
It has been a week since I left my abusive relationship. It has been very hard for me. I found out that last week that the girl he was cheating on me with bailed him out of jail and is know letting him live with her at her parents house. He has not tried to call or pick up his things yet. I am having a hard time understanding and dealing with the fact that he has moved on to someone else. I know I should not care but I do. He did not even acknowledge his son with me or with his other ex over the holdiay. He is still stuck on thinking that I put him in jail not that he did it. We go to court on Thursday for our son. I hope and pray that I am strong and that I stay strong. I still feel awful and can not get myself to feel better. I know that I did the right thing but my heart feels different. I do miss him. I keep telling my self though, what do you really miss about him? His yelling and screaming, his threats, his controling behavior toward you and your son? I just need some reassurance and support right know. I fell like I am in this rout and can not pick myself out of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
In reply to: crk21
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 6:33am
Crk,

Hang in there. You just went through a holiday weekend and those are always the hardest. Of course you care about how he moved on to another so quickly, it wouldn't be normal otherwise. That is why you took his abuse...because you cared about him. Think how shallow this guy is though. He not only blew you off over Easter, but his son. That is ignorant. This girl that bailed him out of jail isn't very smart and probably will be searching a place like this before long. I could not imagine starting a relationship with a guy that I have to bail out of jail to date!

It's going to take a while to get back on your feet, so just focus on your boy a little more and be good to yourself. Take one day at a time. You made an excellent choice, stick to it.

Hugs

Terry

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
In reply to: crk21
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 7:30am
thanks. I needed that. I can not believe she bailed him at either and knowing under what circumstances too. O well. She is not very smart because it seems to me like he is using her like he did me. I was just hoping yesterday that he would have tried to be there for his son. I can not see how you can be in his life for almost 6 yrs and know just totally ignore him all together. And this girl will learn over time what he is all about. He is never going to change because he will never see that he has a problem. I always just hoped that he would change if I just did what he wanted but that never was the case he can and wont. He is just going to move on to this girl use her money, her car, and phone, and residence like he did me. She will learn what he is all about I know that for a fact. thanks again
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: crk21
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 12:52pm

Crk, one thing to remember is that these guys' brains are wired differently and they don't think of relationships the same way as the majority of people do.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
In reply to: crk21
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 8:21am
thank you for all you support I really appreciate and needed it.