Update From Cyan
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| Thu, 02-17-2005 - 7:04pm |
Hi All,
Thank you for your responses. This is certainly a trying time.
I just called a domestic abuse hotline and they offered some wonderful help and suggestions.
First, I was educated about the cycle of abuse and the 'honeymoon' period. The person I talked with said that the perpetrator will say they're going to do 'whatever it takes' to work things out. I couldn't believe my ears; this is EXACTLY what my husband said last night! (We went to see a therapsit friend last night and hubby said he is afraid for what he's done to me and wants to get help. I am waiting to see if he does. One thing I need to figure out is how long I should wait.)
Second, I was told to put together an 'escape package' such as clothing, important documents, etc. I will do that tonight and keep things at work where they can't be found by hubby.
Third, she suggested I take photos of bruises and cuts (no bruises yet but she said I'll have them in 2-4 days.)
And fourth, I was told that it would be helpful to get individual counseling for me and for my nine-year-old son. I have just made the appointments.
Oh... the person I talked with at the hotline was quite concerned because she said my husband has bypassed the 'normal' steps (my words, not hers) of abuse and gone straight to the full monte - rape/strangulation.
Help... I am scared, confused, and unsure what to do. Is there anthing else anyone can suggest?
~Cyan

Hi Cyan -
The advice you got was spot on.
CL-Blueliner4
I know I should go to the police and the person at the hotline suggested it, but I am not ready to press charges at this point. I am too scared! This means leaving my home, my animals, my world. I know I am crazy for this, but I want to see if he will do anything, get counseling, etc.
I will keep posting and thank you for all the support and advice.
Okay, a couple things -
First off, couples/marital counseling is NEVER recommended in abuse situations for several reasons.
CL-Blueliner4
Blue, what can be done so that she leaves overnight and in the morning can come back and have him kicked out of the house and a RO?
Sherry
A lot of the times it depends on the state in which she lives.
You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers.
She could speak with police and get
CL-Blueliner4