update on the update

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
update on the update
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 11:09pm

How nice that at 3am this morning, CAHL's old school friend called me. After informing him in a restrained but kind way that it was 3am, why are you calling?, (different time zones) he said he just wanted to know how we all are doing. I said 'didn't you know that I'm divorced now?'. He said 'oh, yeah, kind of'. After that short entry dialogue, I relaxed and said since I was already up because couldn't sleep, what could I do for him. He wanted to know the reason for the divorce. Apparently (not surprised though) CAHL made me out to be a witch that caused the whole thing. He attempted this at my work too, by calling around and telling everyone how I stole money from him, took his house, took his child, took his car, got him fired..... I was getting lots of stares from people for the first couple months, since my demeanor is completely opposite of what he described. I am more known for my quiet and cooperative personality rather than the vicious, obnoxious person he wanted people to think I was.

Now referring to some of my previous posts of early this year where I mentioned that I am quiet sure CAHL was cheating on me. I mentioned I had a hunch he was living with some polish girlfriend in poland, whom he was probably cheating with for the previous two years before the divorce. I also mentioned that I had found CAHL listed on a company website in California and figured he was working there now, although he claimed to have no work. The school friend that called blurted it all out, since CAHL had bragged to him already.
Him: 'Yeah, CAHL is apparently settling down with his new girlfriend....from another country I think'
Me: 'Poland?'
Him: 'Oh, yeah, that was it....Yeah, he wants to bring her here to the US to be with him. You know he is living in LA now, working...?'
Me: 'Um, yeah, I know'

The lady is either using him to get US citizenship (serves him right then) or she is a complete airhead to think she found Mr right. No sympathy for her because she knew she was messing with a guy who was married prior to the divorce, she had to have known the guy had a kid, and she had to have wondered why the courts put a restraining order on him and he wasn't allowed to see son unsupervised. If those aren't red flags, I don't know what is. I have no doubts that she will soon regret the day she met the CAHL. CAHL is indescriminately vicious to anyone, though less to men because they are more likely to pop him for it. Why would he suddenly turn over a new leaf. However, it all makes me feel a bit better about Christmas. Why? Because he is not likely to be thinking about me if he has his squeeze with him. That means I will be less jumpy about bumps in the night. What makes me want to puke though is that his mother, for want of a better definition for her, knew he was cheating, knew he was stealing, knew he was doing drugs, knew he abandoned son, knew he wasn't paying support, knew he wasn't paying his lawyer, knew he was an alcoholic, knew he had psychological problems, and she still HELPED him to cover up and even accomplish some of his deeds. The helping part is what really makes me shake my head in disgust. I could understand standing back and not wanting to take part, but actually HELPING? That is just sick.

Anyway, thanks for letting me share.